4/11/2008
It's just another rainy day! (ええ おてんき ですね)
Well it's another beautiful rainy day here in Japan. I had to check my address to make sure I wasn't living in perhaps London. So today I just kind of laid on my floor and let my mind wander. And that is something that shouldn't happen; when my mind is allowed to idol, and go into autopilot it thinks of the sickest and crudest crap imaginable. I thought my ideas were ingenious and that is why I majored in Marketing in college. But as it turns out the only other people that find my ideas ingenious are: teenage boys that fart in the shower and then laugh uncontrollable, and the inbred hick who talks to squirrels in the back woods of Alabama and believes himself to be the squirrel messiah. So now let's jump into want insane things I thought of today since the rain will prevent me from doing much else.
So the first thing that sparked off my thoughts was someone telling me that 21 is the legal age of consent in Japan and I was like OMG I am barely legal (scandalous). So right after that I look around my room bored again and see a picture of Spiderman. And I start thinking about how quickly Hollywood goes to cash in on something. And what really makes a superhero so super tight spandex in bright colors? If that is the case then a couple of internet predators in their tight wrangler jeans and pink Kim possible shirts can be superheros as well, there super powers would include crotch moistening action, X-ray vision (from their 1980s rapist glasses), and leech powers from living in their parents basement and eating all the freaking Apple Jacks when they know damn well they don't taste like Apple, but rather cardboard and sorrow with just a pinch of cinnamon sprinkled on top.
Right after that I decided to listen to Soulja Boy, yes that's right I consciously decided to listen to Soulja boy. So as I am listening to "Yuuuuuuuuuuu" over and over again it hits me; Soulja boy should market cleaning supplies! Got tough stains on your dishes let Soulja boy "Yuuuuuuuuu" it right out. Toilet clogged from shaking your "booty meat" no problem because Soulja Boy is "cocking on it's bitch ass" and "if [it gets' to clogging] then he's jocking on [it's] bitch ass". See that is pure genius.
Ok this is a Japan blog so I have to put something in here about Japan. So let me point out a peculiarity that I have noticed and I don't think I have mentioned here before. In my travels I have seen a lot of Japanese girls walking with their feet bent inwards at like a 30 degrees angle. It almost seems like Kimbo Slice lives in Japan and is having intimate relations with every girl in Japan, because they walk like he just put a hurting under their skirtin'. When I get a close female friend or meet another Gaijin who has lived here for awhile I am going to be sure to ask him about this. But man is it fun to see the ones afflicted with this walking condition run. One girl was wearing a suit and running to the station; she looked like a retarded homosexual penguin. That was a 笑 moment. Speaking of laughing I have to take a crap so I have to go for now. またね!
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