Ahhhh

Haven't updated in awhile so figure I would take the time to write a bit today. There is much I want to say but I am not a liberty to discuss everything here on this blog, somethings are better left unsaid. And somethings I should never be discussed. But right now I will talk about something that shouldn't ever be mentioned anywhere. What is that you ask? Well it's simple, public masturbation. Random I know, but stick with me here, for this is one tricky dick, literally! Last night I was hanging out with my friend Yuta hitting some spots up around town doing some drinking have a good time, let me just say here that I wasn't all woman crazy this weekend, in fact I didn't even go out of my way like usual to try and find some sweet pun I just drank and had a good time. But, returning to the topic. As the night went on we found ourselves at J's bar and there was an interesting fellow passed out drunk on a couch. But what made it so interesting was even though this guy was drunk as hell passed out, he had like a Kung Fu grip on his tube steak. And it looked like he was fappin' people tried to stop him, but his grip was too strong he was masturbating like it was an ancient forbidden martial art that only he knew how to do. Of all the things you can do while passed out drunk I think masturbating has got to be one of the worst. It's right up there with passing out in your own vomit, maybe worse the verdict is still out on this. The best part was when he finished and wiped his hand on a nearby purse brushed himself off and walk out like nothing had even occurred. He was like oh I wasn't just pleasuring myself on that couch, not at all, it was all an illusion I am a magician. Watch as I the amazing Mongo make my hand disappear in my crotch region.

So a few other highlights about last night. First there were a ton of people standing around in the street for no apparent reason, but it was insane how many people were standing in the street, I am used to this town being a ghost town. And I am the lonely drunk gaijin rider, riding my bike into a drunken sunset. But last night the city was very alive, so that was a pleasant surprise. So I decided to drink a few beers at a convenience store, and on my 3rd beer I got wrangled. Yes some random Japanese guy came and got me and him and his friends took me to a club in the shadier part of town, I didn't go in though. At first he said I could go in for free but then we got there and he was like okay pay. And I was like I expected this I just walked with you so I could finish my beer. But he turned out to be a cool guy, so maybe one day I will hang out with him sometime. But as a whole last night was very fun, I even carved my name into the wall of the bathroom of one of my favorite clubs.



And not being content with just carving my name I also carved other people's names into the wall people who will probably never come to Japan that I know, but I made it look like they were here. You guys can thank me later (Cameron and Brandon).



Also what was surprising was that most of the stuff carved into the wall was in English/Engrish. Of course the obligatory "Fuck You" was carved into the door, and "Tommy wasn't blown here" was carved on the left wall with an arrow pointing to it with something else saying "Tommy is gay". So if Tommy ever comes back he will be pissed. Ohh the weekend wasn't all good, I got a free bracelet from one of my friends and then lost it like 10 minutes later, I have had 2 bracelets since I have been in Japan both have been really girly and make me look gay, but hey I like them, and wish I wasn't so destructive unknowingly. And the last thing I will mention is I C-walked last night and tons of girls video taped my foot work with their camera phones. I thought that was funny because I was drunk and I thought I sucked, but I ended up teaching a bunch of people how to do it. So that was fun. But for now I am going to practice my C-walk so また~!!