6 months as an Ex-pat :(

Simpler times. . .

So it has been about 6 months since I have been living in Japan, and long story short I want to go back to the US. Well not just back to the US but to California. Things in Japan just haven't been working out to well for me. Almost every situation goes from bad to worse. Don't get me wrong I have had my share of good times in Japan and met some really cool people that I am glad I have met but I feel the call of the Red, White, and Blue. Not just all of a sudden I started to feel the cal back during the time of the Hanagasa festival. While watching that festival I really missed America. If any of my friends from America are reading this I miss you guys ^_^. So yea the epitome of mishaps happened last Saturday when I got picked up by the cops for vandalism. Let's go to the start of saturday evening. 

Colin had just come back in town from Canada a few days earlier, and I hadn't been doing too much of anything in Yamagata, because my paycheck for the month was next to nothing even now I barely have enough money to like buy food, I had to sell my iPod to get food money! And even after selling my iPod I barely have enough money to last until my next paycheck. I know you are probably wondering what the hell are you eating over there babies!?! I assure you I am not eating babies, and if I am I don't know I am because I never know what I am eating here. So to help me get buy I got a second job on the weekends, but who wants to work 2 jobs?? Not me that's for sure. 

Back to the story though so I didn't really have the money to hang out and I was about to bail out on the whole night and just go home and go to sleep. Looking back in retrospective I should have bailed. But if I bailed this would be the end of this story, but like a choose your own adventure book I chose another path. So I went to Colin's after I bought like a 5 dollar bottle of some really cheap whiskey because that's all my budget would allow. And then me and Colin went to Yamaya the "World Liquor System" to buy some more whiskey and coke to make some drinks. Then we went to Colin's to have some whiskey and dinner. David came to join us as well we convinced him to have one shot of Jack. And then shortly after that we set off on our excursion for the night. We went to Jay's bar not much was going on at Jay's so we went to another bar down the street and nothing much was going on there either, in fact nothing seemed to be going on anywhere. So Colin set out to find something to do. What he found was the dreaded hostess bar, that's right the same type of bar that had sent me fleeing from Japan once before. 

Let me explain the dynamics of the hostess bar again. Basically you pay a set fee to be at the bar and the bar provides you with a bunch of tarted up hussies who hang on your every word. Problem with that is I don't speak Japanese that we'll so there aren't many words to hang onto. And you have to buy everything the girls drink on top of paying to be there. And not to sound vain or anything but I think the girls should technically have paid for my drinks and for the privilege to be drinking with me. Because my teeth aren't jacked up like most Japanese people's teeth are, I am a very interesting person most girls at hostess bars are about as fun as a corpse, and I can make people laugh pretty easily with my over the top antics. So anyway every time I go to a hostess bar I think of the fact that the girls there should be paying me, and that makes me pissed off instantly. And also I never go to hostess bars on my own accord I am always dragged there by the people I am with. There has never been a time while I was in Japan when I was like damn I am lonely I want to go to a hostess bar and hang out with superficial comfort women. NEVER!! But there have been times where I was like fuck this shit I want to eat chocolate chip pancakes. I have had plenty of nights where I just stopped everything and went to eat pancakes. 

But anyway once again I found myself being dragged to a hostess bar for the 3rd time. And the girl I was with looked like Beetlejuice jacked up teeth and stripped dresses have that effect on women here. If I could say Beetlejuice and send my hostess back to the netherworld I would have. So anyway it was a horrible experience just like ever other time I had been to a hostess bar. But I pretended to be semi enjoying myself. As the night dragged on and I kept drinking watered down Shochu and talking to the hostess I decided to sing some Karaoke I sang Prince "Purple Rain" and some Disney songs Colin kept telling me to sit down haha. I guess he didn't realize that by singing the Karaoke I was trying to salvage the horrible night for myself at least. But he was like just sit there and talk to your girl. And I was like who? Bettlejuice?

So finally the time came for us to leave and Colin was pissed at that point too. I went with him to get my bike and then he was like I am going to go back and spit on someone, and I was like okay!! I wanted to go back just to see that because I am sure a fight would break out and who doesn't love a good fight. But of course no one was there so then still pissed and with no one to spit on Colin decides we should rip the sign down (It was really just a sticker on a wall a glorified bumper sticker if you will). I didn't think it was a good idea I just wanted to go and eat at Mos Burger and then go to sleep, but then Colin said if you help me I will buy you anything you want to eat, being strapped for money I couldn't say no. So I assisted my angry Canadian friend. I was angry too and have been angry many times in Japan but when I get angry I just leave and go watch cartoons, I am not usually an angry drunk I am more of a happy social drunk, but if I am drunk and even slightly angry a hostess bar is usually involved. So not 15 seconds into helping Colin a fat Japanese guy comes around and grabs my shirt collar and starts swinging me around wildly like a rag doll causing me to lose my balance and fall and almost break my iPod. Then the guys from the hostess bar come down and surround Colin and start yelling at him and one guy gets really irate but the others hold him back. 

Then the cops show up and take us both away they don't listen to anything I try to tell them they just whisk us away. At the police station I am interrogated by a bunch of cops speaking Japanese yelling stuff at me. Of course they can't intimidate me because I can't understand anything they are saying. So they bring in a half ass translator who doesn't really listen to what I say but makes his own assumptions based on what he wants to understand. So after 4 hours or so of that I am taken to the police station that has my bike and have to wait there with a grinning Japanese lawyer who looks like the Chesire cat except with horrible teeth and bad breath. My job is called and someone from my dispatch company comes to get me. And they tell me not to worry. But I had to worry because I had a feeling my school would find out and that would make work awkward. But I held out for the hope it wouldn't reach my school.

It did :(. I will write about how my job changed after this incident another day, for now I will enjoy my day off.