Birthday weekend

So this past weekend was my birthday here in Japan! I wasn't expecting anything big or planning anything out, as I haven't really done anything for my birthday for the past couple of years. So I just drank mostly dark beers this weekend, to celebrate the big 22. On the actual date of my birthday it was raining so I cleaned up my room and did laundry (exciting!). So I figured after such an exciting birthday in Japan, that maybe I should celebrate the American date, since Japan is a day ahead and all, so it was like traveling through time to celebrate again. And it worked out even better because the American date was on a friday here in Japan. So I was very excited for the prospects this weekend would hold, not because it was my birthday but rather because it was (an still is) an extended weekend!

So let's jump into this particular weekend. Before I left school I wished all my students good luck because they were all competing in a big city wide sports day. I had big plans to go and see most of my students play on saturday, but Friday nights don't make for good Saturday mornings. So Friday I went to Loop, after going to nomihodai, and every time I go there something goes wrong. This time someone got the idea that I told a guy there named Marvin fuck you. I was like umm I definitely didn't do that. And of course last time "I got in a fight". I am not sure why every time I go there some horrible twisted tale concerning me comes out of nowhere. So I am just done with Loop, too much of a hassle every time I go there. So for all intents and purposes friday night was pretty bad. So I was kind of relieved when Saturday came around, gave me a clean slate to start from. ^_^

Saturday I just went to J's I skipped everywhere else and just decided to keep it simple. Saturday was a lot better than Friday! Got nice and drunk, and even made some great progress with a couple of the ladies, although none of them lived in Yamagata, but rather in nearby prefectures. But I saw a cute gaijin girl at Mos Burger earlier I wish I had talked to her, since I am pretty sure she spoke English, maybe. She looked like she was French though!?! So I am hoping to see her around the city again, granted she lives here, and wasn't a tourist. One thing that does suck is that I have to work tomorrow. I was supposed to be off work but since I missed a day I have to make it up. Which reminds me I need to contact my boss to make sure they know I am making this day up so that I get reimbursed for the pay I was docked awhile back. Ohh and to make it fair I will upload a picture of me drunk since I have shown everyone else passed out, it's only fair.

Another weekend in 山形市

What inebriation looks like

Last weekend I was in Tokyo, and I plan to be there again next weekend, but this weekend was spent in good ole' Yamagata. This weekend was eventful. Of course I did the same stuff as usual went to Sandinista and J's, but I also went to a few new places as well. All day friday at work I was waiting to get off so I could go drinking and start the weekends festivities. I didn't know it was friday the 13th, so when I was asking one of my classes "What day is today?" and "What's the weather like?", when they said it's Friday the 13th I like thought about watching a scary movie later, and completely blanked out in class for a little bit. I came back to reality when I heard the teacher whispering ask them "How are they?". Then later on in that same class, when it was time for the listen to the CD part of class, the CD player went crazy, and it was skipping and speeding up randomly, I told the teacher today is a day of bad luck in America and the teacher said I know. So as I may or may not have mentioned before my school has a tradition called PSP which stands for Physical Strength P?? (I forgot what the last P is for), in this tradition the students run around the school, it's good exercise but I don't really like to run and get tired before going out friday night. But I ran anyway, figured I would be doing some heavy beer drinking so I might as well do one thing that is relatively healthy.

So after running a random dust storm blew in and got sand and crap all in my eyes, so I decided to hang around at the school for a bit until dust wasn't being blown all around. I watched the boys and girls volleyball teams practice for a little while. Some of my students have started saying "Fuck You!" but never when another teacher was around. So I was standing near the wall talking to another teacher when a student walked up and said "Fuck You!", and I was like ummm ok time to go see you! Hey I didn't want the other teachers thinking I taught the students those words.

So I got home and changed clothes and then went to JUSCO to get some beer nuts and Guinness, I walked around for a bit and went to Toy R Us thought about buying some Funyuns or some Doritos, but the bags are so freaking big that I just said screw it. I want to eat SOME Funyuns not a garbage bag full of Funyuns. Plus the costs of the Funyuns was the cost of a beer. Once again my economy runs on beer, I don't think in USD or YEN I think in beers. It's like opportunity cost, so remember don't ask "how many dollars that shirt cost?", ask "how many beers does it cost?". So I went back to buy the grocery section to buy beer nuts, I was pissed to find out that the big bag of mixed nuts where gone!! So I had to pay the same amount of money for less nuts. I usually get the big bag because it costs the same as other bags of nuts, but you get almost twice as many nuts!! So I settled for the regular nuts, and grabbed 7 Guinness then set about on my path home. On the way I passed 2 young ladies on bikes that were headed in my direction, one looked pretty cute and the other one just barely had the requirements to be consider a female. One day I am going to party in this area because I know that there has to be something to do close to my house.

Since it was Friday the 13th I watched a scary movie One Missed Call, it was okay I suppose. Then I called Yuta to see if he was up at his shop, but he was at a friends house at a party, (sounded like he was having a good time). I told him we should meet later he said okay. . .never saw him hahaha. So I meet up with Luke and we were going to go to Sandinista we drank a few beers in front of a 7 11 and I saw some of the regulars at Sandinista outside so I talked with them, and then headed over to Sandinista. Danced a bit there and then went to J's, actually now that I think about it I don't really remember too much of friday, so. . .let's just move on to Saturday.

Saturday I was woken up by an earthquake! I usually never lock my door and sometimes I have things in my door like shoes holding it open, so I thought that someone had came into my apartment and started shaking me. So naturally I woke up like WTF, who is this? But it was just an earthquake, so I just went back to sleep, wayyy too lazy to try and take shelter under a table. A bit later I headed up to town to meet up with my language partner. I was hoping she would be cute. So I got to Kajo and I saw a group of Japanese sitting at a table and they said something to me so I thought maybe one of the ladies in this group was my language partner. I knew one of the ladies worked in Kajo I had seen her before, the other lady looked unfamiliar so I thought she surely must be my partner. "What is that?" that was the first thing that popped into my mind, in reference to some scaring on her lip that looked like herpes, I was like ohh great I got the lady with herpes as my language partner! But she wasn't my language partner, SAVED! Collin was like your language partner isn't here yet and I was relieved.

I read an earthquake manual while I waited, then my real language partner showed up. She was decent, おきい　おっぱい (nice chest for a japanese woman), although I am an ass man, so I didn't really care. So we exchanged contact info and set a date for the future lesson. I was sleepy I was considering going back home to sleep, but I was too tired to make the trip back, so I called Yuta and we ate lunch. Then I took a nap on his couch for awhile. Then Collin called me and said "hey there is a new place that has nomi. . ." I interrupted at this point saying "SAY NO MORE LET'S DO IT!". Collin had just awoken a sleepy monster of beer drinking, and now this monster was ready to stalk it's prey. Collin showed up to Yuta's shop and then I told Yuta that we were going to go to nomihodai and he was kind of sad that he couldn't go, he said to bring him back a beer, and that we should join him and Max for sushi later. Then Collin said beer and sushi will make him through up on Yuta's pants. Yuta said in reply "Throw up on my head or face please, that way I can have something to eat." I started laughing at this absurd request, and said you can get a little drunk as well as get something to eat, we all agreed and had a good laugh.

So then Collin and I went to a beer garden, it was pretty nice, although it was a bit cold outside. They played this old hawaiian music that made it feel like me and Colin had been married for 40 years and were about to eat pudding. Definitely going to go back to the beer garden again, hopefully on a warmer day. After that me and Collin went to a convenience store and grabbed some pizza pockets and drank some beer, then a clerk was like sorry we don't do that here, referring to the beer, so we drank our beers outside. At some point I meet back up with Yuta, and we went to his friends bar near Rough Roll, it was a nice place, but there were like creepy dolls everywhere. Later on that night Yuta got mad, asking why we don't care about his friends bar? I guess because Max and Ian just got up and left with out saying anything. So Yuta didn't come with us when we went to J's bar. I had never seen Yuta mad before, I tried to tell him it was probably a misunderstanding. Hopefully everything will be okay.

As the night went on me and Collin kept drinking and were pretty wasted, Collin was about to leave when David showed up, so then he didn't leave and drank more, and then fell asleep on the couch at J's, I "rested" for a bit too, and then when I woke up figured I might as well make my way home since I am falling asleep here as well, so I snapped a picture of drunken Collin. Everytime me and Collin go out drinking he ends up passing out haha. Well I am going to watch Family Guy so I will end this here until next time.

This past weekend I was in Tokyo. It was my first time actually spending time in Tokyo. I took the つばさ Shinkansen, the trip was like 2+ hours, I had been falsely told before that you can't drink beer on the train. I still brought beer anyway to drink (I am always one for breaking Japanese laws). On the train I found out that you can bring and drink beer, as almost every salaryman on the train had a beer in their hands! If I had known this I would have brought more beer, but it was okay, I guess. There were tons of people everywhere, people were rude as hell, it was everything I expected and more. The first day I went to Roppongi and had some Mexican food, とても　おいしい　です！It had been so long since I had Mexican food that I had almost forgotten how good it was. I miss it again already.



Yes this burrito looks like shit but I assure you it tasted like heaven! Mexicans where never big on presentation it's all about the substance when you are dealing with the Mexicans (yes that is a sweeping generalization don't take that seriously).

Didn't stay out for too late, but Roppongi looks like it is a pretty fun place, a bit overwhelming with the sheer amount of people walking about. There were tons of drunk people in the streets when we left, my friend Taiga dubbed it "Drunk town". I stayed at Taiga's house while I was in Tokyo, his house is nice (I wish I had a house). I saved a bunch on living costs that way. Japanese hotels can go to hell! So to make it so I wasn't a total leech I paid for Taiga's food and entertainment when ever I could. 

On saturday I went to Akihabara and Shibuya. Two very different places Akihabra is a haven for おたく, and Shibuya is like a fashion show where everyone is dressed up to be looked at by everyone else. Of the places I went on my first excursion to Tokyo I think I like Roppongi the best. Because it looks and feels dirty, every breath of air in Roppongi tastes like expensive beer and gonorrhea ^_^! And I am quite fond of the dirty seedy life in Japan; not America, things are a bit to dirty and shady back home. I like to think of it like Goldilocks and the three bears, America's dirty is too dirty, and Japan's dirty scene is just dirty enough.

On a side note I just missed a murdering spree in Akihabara by one day. Talk about being lucky, I have never seen anyone being stabbed to death nor do I want to start seeing it now. And actually that picture of me was taken in Akihabara down the street from where the rampage started.

So at Akihabara we went to a Maid cafe which was a very interesting experience probably would have been better if I spoke Japanese, though. But I guess it is worth checking out if you are in the area, plus some maids go that extra (you know what I mean). Also me and my friends went into a giant adult superstore which was like 5 floors of dildos, random sex toys, and costumes, so that was interesting. Of course photos were banned at all of these places, so I couldn't take a picture of me holding huge fake boobs.

Moving along though in Shibuya I went to a club called Pure. Entrance was 3,500 yen with nomihodai, that was the deal of a lifetime. I wish Yamagata had something like that, could save a ton on drinks. But Club Pure was packed with people drinking and dancing. And I am talking western style dancing here, dick to butt grindin' action (oh yea!). So I danced with quite a few ladies. Some Japanese girls weren't to fond of western style dancing though so they like weaseled away, one even like hip bumped me away (haha). So that was interesting. I tried to talk to this girl who was amongst all her friends, and her friends protected her from me like a eagle watching it's young. As I approached there table I was greeted with a warm "FUCK YOU! Go away!", I could have said something rude back but I just drank my beer, and said ok. Later on I danced with all of the girls at the table especially the one I set out to talk with. And they apologized for their rudeness. Nice guys don't finish last, more like somewhere in the middle or kind of close to the end. Well I will retire for now until next time, おやすみ！

Oh My

I woke up today after a night of heavy drinking and inebriation. And I started to look around my room to piece the preceding nights events together. I looked at my shoes and noticed splatters of some orange substance all over them. I thought to myself did I run through some mud or something last night WTF is this stuff? Then I remembered that I threw up like 3 times outside of the Yamagata police station. Hahaha I remembered going there to see if someone found my coin wallet, and I was like laying down on the table as tons of cops tried to figure out what I was saying, and why I was just laying on there table. They asked me if I was drunk, and I was like no just sleepy, and then as soon as I left I hurled threw up all over the place. The cat was out of the bag when I blew chunks, at that point it was pretty obvious I was wasted. When they saw me throw up they are like are you sure you aren't drunk? And I was like NO does it look like I am drunk and then I immediately threw up again. So that was pretty interesting, then I started to retrace my steps. On the way home from work I bought like a huge bottle of beer and drank it while I took a crap, which I know sounds disgusting but it wasn't that bad. After I went to Yuta's shop and drank some more and got pretty wasted there, BEFORE I went out to get wasted. Drinking in Japan can be expensive, as I am sure I have mentioned many times before. But I don't really care all my income is pretty much disposable so whatever.

So I returned to Sandinista again, and wait! I was going to go to Loop another bar and then Yuta said he heard that Kenny had gotten in a fight there. And I was like "Huh? I didn't get in a fight there!". So I hope the people at Loop are talking about someone else named Kenny which I find hard to believe, I doubt there is another Kenny here, but it's possible. Otherwise I feel they are slandering my name because I didn't go into there bar. So now I am kind of wary of Loop and the people I meet there. So any ways I went to Sandinista where I know a lot of people that are really cool. And at first the night was pretty slow I was drunk so I forgot that we actually got there early last night. I saw all the regulars I see there like every night haha. This time it was just me though Yuta had to help his friend out so I had to use what little Japanese I knew to make it through the night. 

I was standing by the bar and this guy sitting at a table with a group of ladies started yelling at me to join them. I didn't know what was going on and then he extended a beer towards me, and it was like that painting where Man is reaching out to touch Gods' finger, it was heavenly. I grabbed the beer and sat down between two ladies who were enamoured with my stars. They asked me the basic questions how old am I? Where do I live? Do I have a girlfriend? When I tell people my age the freak out no one believes me or they think I am a baby. But, yea I talked with them for awhile and we all got up and danced my legs were aching from running with my students, and they still ache. And then like after awhile I went to talk to some other ladies I knew, but I probably should have kept talking to the ladies I was dancing with. I always spread myself to thin haha. I go for more than I can handle at any given moment, I always say ok tonight just stick to talking to one girl, but I always talk to a lot. And like I will go back and forth and some will leave and I am left with nothing. I hope that makes sense, it's kind of like a lion running after a group of gazelle he pursues one then all of a sudden goes after another one, and then another, and before he knows it he is tired and the gazelle have all scattered.

Ohh and let me recap the drunken bike antics that happened last night. I was sitting on my bike outside of Sandinista and kicked some random bike over next to mine and the owner happened to be walking up to get the bike as I was kicking it over haha, talk about awkard. Also it took me awhile to get up on my bike because I was so drunken I like almost feel getting on my bike. And riding your bike home when you are super drunk has to be the worst thing in the world, when it gets warmer I might start sleeping in the streets, or on the table at the police station. Also there was a group of people walking from downtown towards where I live, and I wanted to stop and talk to them, but it took all of my composure to keep my bike straight, so I just said screw it and pedaled to my house. I still need to meet people that live near me, so hopefully one day. . .

Japanese learning revisited

Judge the commercial for yourself. 

So I have been learning Japanese every day at work now for like 2 weeks and I had no idea what my ability is at!?! But just now I used a bit of it on Stickam.jp to talk to a few japanese people and I am actually getting better. Slowly but surely I am learning Japanese, it may take me 20 years but I will eventually learn a 2nd language. At first I was learning Japanese just to pick up the ladies but then, I figured screw that. That is like the worst reason in the world to learn a language. So that's why I quit learning Japanese for awhile. But then I got new inspiration from my phone company, or rather from their commercials. You see Softbank commercials feature this black guy, who people here swear I look like (although I deny such claims vehemently). So he says like 1 or 2 lines in Japanese and he is freakin' famous. So I figure if he can say "よそがい　です" and be famous here then I can say something equally as dumb and get equally as famous. And that ladies and gentlemen is the current reason I am learning Japanese. So hopefully when I do get around to living in Tokyo I can march up to the office of one of these phone companies and demand a job. And maybe some M&Ms. Hey I love those little chocolate delights, don't judge me. So for now I am going to eat this Japanese sausage I am making. No, not like that.

げんき！

A random sign from the Yakitorri shop.

So time for an update, I know I am the laziest blogger ever. I am sorry guys and gals. But let's get into the blog so I have been spending a lot of time hanging out at Yuta's bike shop getting drunk and meeting some cool people. So now my life is similar to Clerks I just stand around and drink some beer, and talk what little Japanese I can. Speaking of me talking in Japanese, I think my Japanese is getting better, and I am happy! I can understand a bit more and read some more Kanji　(所=place). So I have been keeping a budget because I want to see where my money goes. So on friday I ran with my students, in something they call PSP. I think PSP means Physical Strength Patience, it doesn't make sense if it is a sentence but it's Japan so screw it. So anyways after I got off work I went to buy some food, and I didn't have quite as much money as I thought so I was like, "WTF!?!". So I started thinking maybe someone stole some of my money. So I started thinking of all the "mischievous" students who could commit such an act, but then I thought maybe it was another teacher. But after thinking back on the days and reconciling my budget, I started to realize I am a careless drunk.

This isn't the first time I thought someone stole something at work. I have these seating charts for my classes to help me learn students names. And one day they were missing so I assumed some of my students playing a joke took them so then I started my inquisition looking for the guilty party then while I was bored I looked all the way in the back of my desk drawer and my charts where there. I guess I am too used to living in America where my stuff gets stolen all the freakin time. But this is Japan, I have to remember that. People aren't going to throw bottles at me here, and I don't have to worry about what weapon the guy walking up to me in the street has. So when I realized I was jumping to conclusions I wasn't angry anymore I was just bored then. So what did I do? Well I shaved stars into my head! Yes that's right I shaved a big star unto each side of my head. I was worried with how they would come out but I think they came out pretty good considering it was my first time doing something like that. So after I shaved the stars into my head I practiced my C-walk, and then took a shower, and prepared for the night's adventure.

So I called my friend Yuta to see if he was up at the Bike Shop, and if he wanted some beer, Yes was the answer to both of those questions, as always. So I bought a 6 pack and a tall boy and head out for the night. Since it was dark as I rode my bike no one really noticed my stars but when I arrived at my destination everyone was like ohhhhhhh すごい!!! So I was instantly popular amongst the people at the bike shop, and ready to get drunk. So I knocked back a few cans of Asahi, and then we headed to Sandinista in a huge mob of bikers. On the way I noticed the ladies were noticing my hair, and it looks like they like what they saw. Score 1 for the home team! So in the bar I must say I had a pretty good night, probably the best night yet, I knew a lot of people as always and they were a lot of ladies, so it was all good. I started talking to a girl I thought looked familiar and it turned out she was familiar I had seen her earlier in the week at a Yakitorri shop. She was pretty cute I think I don't remember haha once again drunkeness clouds my hindsight.

I had to carve someone else's name into the wall, at their request.

But then I also think I screwed up some girl I don't remember who just like started rubbing my stars, she was obviously drunk. . .HELL YEA! So she was like do you dance, and I was like yes I do, "わかりますか　C-Walk?". I showed her a bit of the C-Walk but she wanted to see more, so she was like let's go to the dance floor. But on the way I got intercepted by a crowd of people I know and I didn't make it to the dance floor, so that sucked. And then like I forgot what I was doing so I just got another drink then like the girl left and when I remembered it was too late. So that blew, so after that I hung out for a bit more and talked to a few more ladies, before heading to J's Bar. When I go to J's bar it looked like America it was ton's of gaijin in there, and I was like ehh this kind of sucks, so I went back to Sandinista. And hung out for a bit more. I saw Beda at Sandinista and he was like let's go to J's so then I went back. This time I meet some guy named Alex, that Johnny knew. Alex was wearing these huge white gloves that it looked like he stole from Mickey Mouse. So he took one off to shake my hand and I hesitated, I was like do I want to shake this guy's hand!?! I looked at his hand to see what was wrong with it, and then said fuck it, and shook his hand. I still don't know why he was wearing those huge gloves, but he was an odd fellow. He had a mohawk poof thing that looked strange. It looked like a rapist hair cut, but maybe people think my haircut looks strange so I can't really judge the guy.

There is more but this blog is long and I am lazy. . . So I could say I will finish this later but I probably won't so I will end this here.

Ahhhh

Haven't updated in awhile so figure I would take the time to write a bit today. There is much I want to say but I am not a liberty to discuss everything here on this blog, somethings are better left unsaid. And somethings I should never be discussed. But right now I will talk about something that shouldn't ever be mentioned anywhere. What is that you ask? Well it's simple, public masturbation. Random I know, but stick with me here, for this is one tricky dick, literally! Last night I was hanging out with my friend Yuta hitting some spots up around town doing some drinking have a good time, let me just say here that I wasn't all woman crazy this weekend, in fact I didn't even go out of my way like usual to try and find some sweet pun I just drank and had a good time. But, returning to the topic. As the night went on we found ourselves at J's bar and there was an interesting fellow passed out drunk on a couch. But what made it so interesting was even though this guy was drunk as hell passed out, he had like a Kung Fu grip on his tube steak. And it looked like he was fappin' people tried to stop him, but his grip was too strong he was masturbating like it was an ancient forbidden martial art that only he knew how to do. Of all the things you can do while passed out drunk I think masturbating has got to be one of the worst. It's right up there with passing out in your own vomit, maybe worse the verdict is still out on this. The best part was when he finished and wiped his hand on a nearby purse brushed himself off and walk out like nothing had even occurred. He was like oh I wasn't just pleasuring myself on that couch, not at all, it was all an illusion I am a magician. Watch as I the amazing Mongo make my hand disappear in my crotch region.

So a few other highlights about last night. First there were a ton of people standing around in the street for no apparent reason, but it was insane how many people were standing in the street, I am used to this town being a ghost town. And I am the lonely drunk gaijin rider, riding my bike into a drunken sunset. But last night the city was very alive, so that was a pleasant surprise. So I decided to drink a few beers at a convenience store, and on my 3rd beer I got wrangled. Yes some random Japanese guy came and got me and him and his friends took me to a club in the shadier part of town, I didn't go in though. At first he said I could go in for free but then we got there and he was like okay pay. And I was like I expected this I just walked with you so I could finish my beer. But he turned out to be a cool guy, so maybe one day I will hang out with him sometime. But as a whole last night was very fun, I even carved my name into the wall of the bathroom of one of my favorite clubs.



And not being content with just carving my name I also carved other people's names into the wall people who will probably never come to Japan that I know, but I made it look like they were here. You guys can thank me later (Cameron and Brandon).



Also what was surprising was that most of the stuff carved into the wall was in English/Engrish. Of course the obligatory "Fuck You" was carved into the door, and "Tommy wasn't blown here" was carved on the left wall with an arrow pointing to it with something else saying "Tommy is gay". So if Tommy ever comes back he will be pissed. Ohh the weekend wasn't all good, I got a free bracelet from one of my friends and then lost it like 10 minutes later, I have had 2 bracelets since I have been in Japan both have been really girly and make me look gay, but hey I like them, and wish I wasn't so destructive unknowingly. And the last thing I will mention is I C-walked last night and tons of girls video taped my foot work with their camera phones. I thought that was funny because I was drunk and I thought I sucked, but I ended up teaching a bunch of people how to do it. So that was fun. But for now I am going to practice my C-walk so また~!!