Hospital days

Happier days! *Le sigh*

So I don't even really know where I left off last time. I know I was talking about my rash. So I will just skip right to the needles. I hate needles, especially when they are being forced under my skin. It might have been bad if the nurses didn't have to redo the needle insertion multiple times. There was one nurse in particular who had super hairy legs and a really annoying voice, she could NEVER get shit done right the first time EVER! She would stick an IV needle into my right arm like 6 times then be like ohh sorry I kept missing the vein, let me try the other arm then she would go to my left arm and fuck up like 8 more times until my arm was covered with band-aids to cover her fuck ups. I don't even have to say this, but I hated that nurse her voice was annoying her utter incompetence was annoying everything about her existence as a nurse got to me. It wasn't like my veins were playing hide & seek I can look at my arms and see a lot of my veins. 

But there was one nurse who made my time there okay. Named Yoko I thought she was quite attractive and we flirted quite a bit, everyday actually. Shit she even spanked me one night because I was walking around by myself. She told me "I was a bad boy", then took me to my room and spanked me. And she would wake me up by patting me on my ass each morning for breakfast. I thought she looked like something I didn't know what, then it hit me when my mom said she looks like a doll, she looks exactly like a doll. I was going to stay in the hospital an extra night just to give her my number so we could go out sometime. But I got such terrible news those last days that I just gave up all hope. I wish I did give Yoko my number though. I will regret this for a long time. But as my friend Chet said what if there was no "re" just "gret"?

But that wasn't the only action I got in the hospital! One day one of my doctor's came in put his hands under my shirt and started rubbing my nipples. He gave me a look that pretty much dared me to tell someone about what was happening. I was thinking maybe this was a medical test but he just rubbed on my nipples and left, didn't even say anything. At this point I started to seriously question the hospital.

And I lost all faith in the hospital when they lost my test results, and then confused my medical file with someone else! I don't know how they confuse my name which is foreign and written in Katakana with a Japanese person who's name is written in Kanji!?! 

First let's talk about the tests results they lost. The hospital did a check to see if I had Meningitis. It was supposed to be a one time test. It wasn't. . .

I am sure most of you don't know how doctor's test for Meningitis, so I will tell you. Doctor's do a Lumbar Puncture, which involves sticking a HUGE needle into your spine to withdraw spinal fluid. Is it painful? You bet your fucking ass it's painful.

So the doctor gave me "anesthesia" before the puncture. Just receiving the "anesthesia" was painful. And I say anesthesia in quotations because that shit didn't do anything. It made my back cold but I felt every bit of that needle going into my spine. And a lumbar puncture apparently isn't a one time puncture he kept pulling that needle out and jamming it back into my spine. It was so painful that Yoko had to hold me down and even offered to hold my hand during the procedure it was sweet of her, but I had to decline because I had to use my hands to hold my stomach. I felt like the needle was going to go through my spine and come out of my stomach. So after it was finally over the doctor said don't worry this test is only done one time. And I laid on my back relieved that the worst was over.

3 days passed and guess what they lost the result of my lumbar puncture! I had to do it again!! And Yoko wasn't there this time I had the nurse I despised holding me down, so it sucked even worse this time. After going through more agonizing pain I thought surely this time it was done. I mean after the 2nd Lumbar puncture my entire back was in excruciating pain, I just tried to lay as flat ass possible. I could feel the bandage on my back getting moist, when they took it off they discovered quite a bit of my spinal fluid had leaked out and was absorbed by the bandage and the bed, that explained why I was in soo much pain.

Eventually my back stopped hurting, and I was relieved that it was all done. About 5 days passed and the doctor came back, and guess what, they lost my test results AGAIN! At this point I really didn't even care if I had Meningitis. I told the doctor if I have Meningitis then I just have it I don't care anymore. But he told me how serious it is and so reluctantly I agreed for a 3rd Lumbar puncture. And again Yoko wasn't there, but the nurse that was there was really nice. She had given me a surprise enema one night. And there isn't too much more surprising than a completely unexpected enema. I liked the fact that she tried to be sneaky with the things she did. Like she would try to put an IV in my arm while I was asleep so I wouldn't feel it, and that was thoughtful. But you really can't just stick a needle into a sleeping person and expect them not to wake up, right!?! Technically no, but she got me one time. And it ended up sucking worse than maybe even the Lumbar puncture.

I like to go to the rest room when I wake up. I woke up and decided to run to the restroom before the nurse came around to put the IV in my arm. But the IV was already in my arm so when I hopped out of bed to go to the restroom the IV needle in my arm got twisted and bent up. My arm immediately started hurting but at the same time it was halfway numb. I started trying to pull the IV out myself but my other arm was kind of useless since my clavicle was broken and I had slept on my hand. So I just started yelling as loud as I could. My blood was shooting up the IV and starting to fill the IV bag. Eventually the ninja nurse (her actual name was Saya) came and pulled the IV out of my arm. She apologized for not waking me up when she put it in, and then started to wipe my other arm down to insert an IV into that arm. I was fed up I jumped out of the bed and started walking to the exit of the hospital I wanted to leave right then and there. They had to call both doctors and Yoko to calm me down and convince me to go back to my bed. I didn't listen to the doctors because they had proved their incompetence, but Yoko promised me she would make sure I got my favorite lunch everyday. The lunch wasn't quite enough I just kind of stood there I didn't move towards either the exit or the bed but just stood there thinking. Then Yoko said something really silly engrish that made me laugh and I went back to my bed. Later on Saya came to give me a new IV, I told her NO! Then the doctor came and tried to convince me that the medicine would help me, and I was thinking help me with what? Get another rash!?! WTF are you talking about? I told the doctor not today. He still tried to talk me into it. I told him if they stuck that IV in my arm I would leave that hospital late at night when there wouldn't be people around to stop me. And they knew I stay up really late because my rash wouldn't allow me to sleep. So for one whole day I had no IV!

Alas this story is long, and I am tired and in a bit of pain so yet again it will be continued.

What Happened???

Here is a picture from the BBQ

The little Kei car that couldn't!

And a picture of people playing what appears to be a NES at MET's. . .

That is the question that everyone wants to know including me. WTF happened to me that landed me in the hospital? This is what I remember:

I went to a BBQ on a Sunday which was foolish since I knew I would be drinking and I knew I had to wake up at like 7am the next day. Waking up early after drinking never really works out. If I had went home right after the BBQ I would have been fine. I did go home but that was just so I could get my bike so I could ride it back home later on. I should have just stayed at home. But of course if I did then I wouldn't be writing any of this, so we all know I didn't stay home. So I went to MET's and did nomihodai, and it was fun as always met some new people. Most of which were hosts. And as you know I dislike hosts and hostesses, but this time I didn't even care. So at around 12am or 1am I decided I better leave since I had work the next day. Of course before I headed to the Don Quixote to get some food to eat. 

But I never made it to the Don, and instead ended up in the hospital. I don't even know if I was on my bike or not I don't remember anything other than I left somehow and never made it to my destination. I want to say I was on my bike, but there is no damage at all to my bike, the only thing amiss was one of my handlebar plugs was missing. But everything else is completely fine. And my bike is fragile so I think if I got in a crash on it that at least the whole front end would break since it's all carbon fiber. But I have no idea if I was on the bike or not. If I was on the bike and crashed I couldn't have been going that fast since there aren't any new scratches that would have suggested I slid.

So now that I gave my vague account of what may or may not have occurred let's talk about the hospital where I know about 95% of what happened. Apparently on my first day I had a seizure of course I wouldn't remember that so that is part of the 5% of hospital time I don't remember. Things were going okay at first, or so I thought. I had no idea that the IV going into my arm was destroying my liver. I was carrying along okay despite obvious pain. The hospital food sucked really bad so I barely ate anything, so that made me tired all the time. But the ICU was okay I had a nurse sitting at a desk in front of me 24/7 it was kind of creepy at times though since all she did was sit at the desk and stare at me. And since I could barely move all I did when I was awake was stare at her. Eventually I got moved to another room. And everyone in my new room was insane, the guy too my left was constantly screaming and was strapped to his bed. The guy to my right wasn't strapped down but he was just as crazy. If either one of them had attacked me I would have been a goner since they had the strength of an insane person on their side, and I had the strength of a person who hadn't eaten that much in days.

Luckily instead of attacking me they spent there waking hours trying to escape they both came close to escaping several times but they always got caught. I thought there attempts at escaping were pretty hilarious. Then I realized I wasn't exactly wanting to be in the hospital either way too many needles, and the longer I stayed the more times needles were stuck in my arm. Until on my last few days I had so many needle marks on my arm plus a rash that I looked like I was coming down off of a heroin binge. 

Let's talk about that rash. I had it twice! The first time it was only in a few spots on my body and it was only on me for a few days maybe and then it started to go away, ON IT'S OWN! The doctors noticed and started trying to treat me for the rash which was already going away. Their treatment can only be described by this analogy: 

Imagine if you will a small forest fire that is starting to diminish the fire has run it's course. Then a group of firefighters rush to the scene to douse the fire with water, only it's not water they are using it's gasoline! Suddenly the fire erupts and goes out of control burning the whole forest down. 

That is pretty much what happened. As soon as they "treated" the rash it went crazy whereas before it was on one of my arms and on one foot now it was everywhere. And it was painful and itchy. It was like having a sunburn and poison Ivy at the same time on your whole body. You are really itchy but it hurts to touch your skin. So you just sit there in agony. So for almost a week I just laid in my bed itchy and in pain, oh plus I had a headache and then later on my hands and feet started to hurt so the situation was getting worse by the day. And all of these came about because of their "treatment" to a problem that was fixing itself. 

I am tired so I will continue this later.

Friday night. . .

I was off this Friday!

And I am sitting in my apartment :(

I said I was going to continue Golden Week but I will have to put that on hold for now. So I was all set to go to Tokyo this weekend and see my step-sister and my old friends from Yamagata who live there. So I sent my step-sister a text message saying can't wait to see her this weekend. And she responded with, "I am going to be in South Korea this weekend. Remember I told you last Saturday!?!"

I thought to myself what when did this happen!?! So I told her that she must have meant someone else. But then she was reminded me I was drunk last Saturday, and then it all came back to me. "Ohh yea I was drunk last saturday! Good times." So I was bummed since that meant part of my trip to Tokyo had lost it's luster. But then some of my friends from Gunma were going to, so i was like awesome we can get together for nomihodai. So I was still pumped. But then literally the next day my boss was like don't forget you have to work Saturday. And I was once again shocked. Then he was like remember I gave you the schedule for this week on last friday? Then I thought back and I remembered ohh yea I remember leaving work to get drunk so I must have never seen that schedule. So in two swift moves my weekend crumble quicker than wet bread in a lawnmower. So instead of being in Tokyo with my friends I am in my apartment, farting (yes farting, I got nothing else to do).

I spent the majority of today trying to find night clubs and cool night hang outs, I have no idea why though it's not like I will be going to any of them anytime soon. But regardless I hit up some night spots during the day and stood in the parking lots and imagined what the various places would be like during the nights, in particular tonight. I bet right now people are dancing the night away but not me. I will be standing right here waiting for tomorrow to end and then for sunday to end so I can go to the gym. My weekend was so ruined that I don't even care about Saturday night they might as well take that away too. I hope when I go to sleep Saturday night that when I wake up it's Monday. 

Ohh and Thursday night I went to eat sushi, nothing to amazing about that in Japan, but while I was there this guy was staring at me intensely. At first I tried to pay him no heed but then I thought maybe he knows me, so I started to stare back, and then I started to think that maybe I did know this guy. So I tried to think of his name or where we might have meet, but I had nothing. So we just sat there at the sushi counter 2 seats away staring each other down. It turned out that I didn't know him and that he just wanted to stare so I entertained him for a bit and then he left. It was weird as hell I hope I never see that guy again, but if I do I will be like "where did I see that guy before?"

Back to work :(

The face of アンパンマン

My Golden week has come to an end and it was quite eventful! Friday I just went to nomihodai with my friends and got trashed for $15 bucks! Can't beat that. Then we decided to check out a nightclub, so first we went to club Ash which we all thought was actually called club Ass. Apparently Japanese people can't say "ash" it sounds like "ass". Anyway club Ash was closed so we went to club Earth, which was a brazilian club. There were a lot of nice looking ladies in club Earth most of which were either dancing with each other, some steroided up douche bag, or simply in the corner crying. I tried to dane with a girl who was with a group of her friends I got shut down instantly. I think if I go back to club Earth I am going to have to either start hitting the gym again (which I am going to start doing anyway) or covering myself with tears. So we spent the next hour or so just exploring the huge multi-roomed club, before finally leaving. 

The next morning Ivan, Christal, and I went to Ibaraki to hit up the beach. Ibaraki is where the headquarters of my last company is so it was like the first place I stayed in Japan and now I was going back for a visit. I drank during most of the car ride there, which could have made the trip end as badly as when I went to Aomori with Colin. I drank for like 24 hour straight that day and passed out in the street. Luckily that didn't happen this time. But when we got in town we bought more booze and food. I got some cold そば which is like my favorite summer time food, ever. Later on that first night we got some fireworks and shot them off at the beach it was cold but we didn't let that stop us. Then things got interesting when we went back to the hotel Ivan had booked. Only 2 people could stay in the hotel so I volunteered to be the odd man out. So for the next couple of hours I sat on a bench drinking Whiskey, by myself. Till some homeless people came up to me and started asking me if I was "newly homeless",  apparently they hadn't seen me on that bench before. So we talked a bit about homeless life and it's joys and the things we missed about not being homeless. A homeless lady thought my story was inspiring so she gave me one of her beers, which happened to be a のごどし a beer I hate. It is like a Japanese Milwaukee's Best. I didn't drink it because some homeless lady gave it to me and it was a shitty ass beer anyways. So later on Ivan came gave me the keys to his car and a bento and was like here you go. So at this point I looked like a poseur to the homeless people. So I didn't even try to explain why I was homeless a second ago, and now had food and a car. I just got up and left.

I am glad of that experience my small stint of homelessness helped out the experiences of my other friends. I will just leave that at that. But for the next night we got a tent and slept on the beach, and we all got drunk and shot of fireworks yet again! That was amazing nothing like sleeping on the beach and falling asleep to the sounds of waves crashing on shore. The next day me and Ivan went for a walk on the beach where we found some soft rocks and carved our names into them, and admired all the trash on that side of the beach like 2 tires and a gas tank. We were pretty sure if we kept on looking through the trash we would be able to build an entire car. The whole time I was digging through trash I was thinking if only those homeless people could see me know! After trashing diving Ivan and I went bodysurfing in Japan's icy waters. As soon as the water got to about mid thigh I became a 3 year old boy because my shit shrunk up instantly like 2 "Raisin(s) in the sun". The body surfing was pretty fun despite the frigid temperatures of the water, but after awhile I couldn't deal with it anymore and I had to get the hell out of the water. 

The next day I had an あんぱん donut, and this is when I decided to officially hate アンパンマン who is like the mascot for this kind of donut. The donut was filled with bean paste and luke warm whip cream, it pretty much tasted like baby shit. So after biting into that abomination of a donut I cursed アンパンマン 's name vowing to never enjoy the taste of his head again (his head is a giant donut which I now want to punch). Later on we got some ingredients for our Cinco de Mayo party and headed back to Isesaki. And I will continue with the 2nd part of Golden week later on. 

To be continued. . .

Let's Golden Week it's best each other

Shiminnomori Park

Tomorrow is the beginning of Golden Week! It's that week long holiday (for no apparent reason), that we all love. I am not sure what is going to happen this Golden Week. First the things I sort of know about for sure. I know there is going to be a Cinco de Mayo party next Tuesday. And I might possibly go to the beach as well. And apparently me and my friends are going to camp on the beach when we go. I also I am pretty certain I am going to go to MET'S because who can pass up a $15 nomihodai!?!

Now what I don't know. I don't know if my friend Shinya is coming down from Yamagata to take me to a rave. He is always out of it when we talk, I will say it's partly because of the language barrier though. And I am not sure if I am going to be hanging out with Chisato a lot this Golden Week. I meet Chisato at a BBQ this past weekend, the first day I thought she was interesting but there wasn't much physical attraction. But I saw her again like Wednesday, and I think she looked better the 2nd time around since I saw her legs and I thought they were nice. So this time I got her number and e-mail address. So we will see if anything develops or not. She does live in a different city in Gunma though, so that kind of sucks. But the city she lives in is way bigger and there is a lot more to do there. So who knows maybe I can go there to see her on the weekends, and enjoy the big city life!

And I love the fact that since I am a foreigner people think I have Swine Flu. Like I sneezed today and the lady at work next to me screamed like my sneeze had started raping her or something. So she didn't over react at all, she completely handled that situation like a sane person would. Ohh and I can take pictures now on my new Japanese iPhone! So I will try to remember to take some interesting pics during Golden Week. Maybe a picture of someone's vomit and if your really lucky I may even take a picture of my Belly button! I know a lot of you are curious to know what it looks like up close.  Man I am hungry screw this I am leaving.

何！？！

I have no camera so I am just uploading old pictures. . .

There were a few things I wanted to right down on my blog but I think I have forgotten a lot of them. I hope that by writing anyway my memory will spontaneously return. I had a Geji in my apartment on Sunday! When there is a Geji in your room it tends to be the first thing you notice. As soon as I turned on my light in my bedroom my eyes were instantly drawn to the wall. And lo and behold there was a Geji just chilling on my wall taunting me with it's presence. Either this Geji was really cocky or really lazy. All the other Gejis I have seen were running and jumping all over the freaking place but this one just sat there like it was paying part of the rent or something. So in an act of bravery I smacked it with my shoe. That was very uncharacteristic of me. Anyone who has seen me around giant bugs knows that normally I freak out, and run out of the room, and close the door vowing never to return to what ever room such fowl creatures dwell in. But this year has been a year of a change in my character.

I keep telling myself to look forward and not to dwell to much on the past. Problem is now I am completely obsessed with the future, to the point that I will forget something that just had just happened 5 minutes in the past. I need to find a balance in my thoughts somehow. But deep in my subconscious I want to revisit things that occurred in my past. In particular I want to reach out to those people I have shared very intimate moments with. I have meet many people in my life, but I think the people we bare are all too in those fleeting moments of intimacy are people who's thoughts and feelings we tend to care most about. There are certain thoughts and feelings I can discuss with close friends but somethings are best shared with someone who has become more than a friend, a person who blurs the boundaries. They can cross into areas of ones psyche where a friend might not be able to navigate. I hope that this makes some kind of sense it seems clear as day in my mind but trying to transcribe what I am thinking seems very difficult right now. In summation though I want to send a girl from my past an e-mail out of the blue to tell her what our time together meant to me, but I stop myself every time I seriously contemplate doing this. It's not part of the grand scheme of this year. I guess the theme of this year is new beginnings, so I want to stick to that.

I have a beautiful friendship here in Gunma! One of the guys I hang out with on a regular basis is like the brother I never had. He isn't quite my mirror being like Chet was to me in college. But I think it's better this way hopefully we can avoid some of the sticker situations that me and Chet got into in college. . .or not, only time will tell what will happen. Actually this is a friendship triangle since one of the female ALTs is in this as well. This triangle is similar to this video I posted on another blog. I should have posted that video on this blog it seems way more appropriate. Ohh well that is what a post archive is for!

One thing that I am not so thrilled about is that I feel I am losing a bit of my randomness. But this is a double edged sword. On one hand I always have people I know I can hang out with on the weekends so that means I won't have to feel the despair of loneliness that sometimes takes over a lone wolf such as myself. But at the same time I am losing some of the joys of just going out on the weekends with no plans and just letting the night sweep me away. I meet a ton of people and did a lot of stuff last year with people I would meet during the course of a night. I would call those instant friendships. They are like cup noodles except you just add alcohol instead of water, and presto you have a group of friends you can hang out with for a weekend, you may or may not see these people ever again in your life but for those few days it's like you have known each other for your whole lives. Everyone is quite comfortable (mostly because of the alcohol) and there are no worries. I was pretty much a friend for hire, I would stand around somewhere having a few drinks trying to decide on a direction when, a group of established friends would approach me and invite me to tag along, because I looked "interesting". Some of those instant friendships lasted on others are now just people I occasionally see who remember my name and I can only reply "ohh hey" (I don't remember you name) "but it has been awhile!"

So I don't know what to expect this year but so far I am pleased with things. Hopefully this year will continue to be kind to me! Good bye for now.

P.S. I need a phoneeeeeeeeeeee

GUNMA!!

Hello everyone! Hisashiburine? I have been living in my new city, Isesaki-shi, for about a week now, and although it is a bit dirtier than my last city it is also a lot warmer. I don't mind the random garbage as long as it is hot. Nothing like the smell of hot garbage to start the day of on the right foot. It does seriously smell like a zoo here on somedays. I have officially been working at my school for 5 days (1 school week) and I was a bit concerned about if the other teachers would be more conservative than my last school or not. But I am relieved to say they are every bit as relaxed as my old teachers and a good number of them speak english! So I think it is possible my new school might be 10 times better than my old school which I thought was impossible. 

I went to see some of the after school clubs, and I got to practice with the pretty much every club I went too! At my old school I was relegated to just watching the students from the sideline even towards the end of the year I just watched so it wasn't very engaging, but here in Isesaki on day one I was out getting dirty with the kids. Unfortunately I wasn't prepared for any of this so I didn't have any athletic attire, so I was restricted in my movements by my business attire. I felt bad when I had to turn down a 1 on 1 challenge from the captain of the girl's basketball team, because she was so excited to try her skills out on me. Little does she know I am freaking horrible at basketball, I am sure she would run circles around me. I will find out tomorrow though, as I promised we would battle it out on the court tomorrow after school. The students at my new school are pretty enamored with me. While I was talking to a former gradate of my school one of the girls volleyball players hit me in the head with a volleyball and then scolded me, about loving any girls except the ones on the volleyball team. I guess I shouldn't tell her I am smitten by two young ladies who work for the same company as me (not any of the other teachers mind you). Actually I shouldn't say young ladies as they are both a bit older than I am.

One lives in the same city as me except on the other side of town and the other lives a few stops away on the train (perhaps a 20-30 minute train ride). At the same time I am drawn to a possible relationship I am repelled by my own laziness and nonchalance. Like I don't even really care if we are together or not. I have had some prime opportunities to let my feelings be heard but I was more interested in other things. At Hanami I had sometime to talk one on one but instead I decided to be a social butterfly and meet a few of the locals, because let's face it the people I was with at Hanami don't know shit about Isesaki they came to this town the same day I did. If I want to find what is exciting in this town I need to get out there and meet the locals. Knowing local people who have lived in the city for a long time made all the difference in my experience in Yamagata. No offense to any of the other ALTs I came down here with they are both cool people, but I think if I don't step up to the plate no one will. They might be fine hanging out with just our small group (just 3 people) but I am not. So when it comes down to either pursuing a relationship amongst a painfully small group of friends, or getting out there and meeting colorful (and very drunk) locals, I chose the drunks any day. A relationship will get monotonous pretty quickly but a drunk person is always full of surprises!

If my beau from Isesaki is reading this, don't think I am talking down to you at all it's quite the contrary. I am also partially being reserved to see if you are as spontaneous as me, I can't really tell right now. I am not sure what would happen if I was to call you friday afternoon to tell you I was going to a festival that night in another prefecture. These things are important to me at least, extreme flexibility leaves the days open for either the mundane or completely unexpected. Well if you are reading this somehow, don't let me know 0_<. You have the upper hand. This blog means I play this game with my hand exposed. Now should I play the Jack of Hearts or the Ace of Spades?