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I have no camera so I am just uploading old pictures. . .

There were a few things I wanted to right down on my blog but I think I have forgotten a lot of them. I hope that by writing anyway my memory will spontaneously return. I had a Geji in my apartment on Sunday! When there is a Geji in your room it tends to be the first thing you notice. As soon as I turned on my light in my bedroom my eyes were instantly drawn to the wall. And lo and behold there was a Geji just chilling on my wall taunting me with it's presence. Either this Geji was really cocky or really lazy. All the other Gejis I have seen were running and jumping all over the freaking place but this one just sat there like it was paying part of the rent or something. So in an act of bravery I smacked it with my shoe. That was very uncharacteristic of me. Anyone who has seen me around giant bugs knows that normally I freak out, and run out of the room, and close the door vowing never to return to what ever room such fowl creatures dwell in. But this year has been a year of a change in my character.

I keep telling myself to look forward and not to dwell to much on the past. Problem is now I am completely obsessed with the future, to the point that I will forget something that just had just happened 5 minutes in the past. I need to find a balance in my thoughts somehow. But deep in my subconscious I want to revisit things that occurred in my past. In particular I want to reach out to those people I have shared very intimate moments with. I have meet many people in my life, but I think the people we bare are all too in those fleeting moments of intimacy are people who's thoughts and feelings we tend to care most about. There are certain thoughts and feelings I can discuss with close friends but somethings are best shared with someone who has become more than a friend, a person who blurs the boundaries. They can cross into areas of ones psyche where a friend might not be able to navigate. I hope that this makes some kind of sense it seems clear as day in my mind but trying to transcribe what I am thinking seems very difficult right now. In summation though I want to send a girl from my past an e-mail out of the blue to tell her what our time together meant to me, but I stop myself every time I seriously contemplate doing this. It's not part of the grand scheme of this year. I guess the theme of this year is new beginnings, so I want to stick to that.

I have a beautiful friendship here in Gunma! One of the guys I hang out with on a regular basis is like the brother I never had. He isn't quite my mirror being like Chet was to me in college. But I think it's better this way hopefully we can avoid some of the sticker situations that me and Chet got into in college. . .or not, only time will tell what will happen. Actually this is a friendship triangle since one of the female ALTs is in this as well. This triangle is similar to this video I posted on another blog. I should have posted that video on this blog it seems way more appropriate. Ohh well that is what a post archive is for!

One thing that I am not so thrilled about is that I feel I am losing a bit of my randomness. But this is a double edged sword. On one hand I always have people I know I can hang out with on the weekends so that means I won't have to feel the despair of loneliness that sometimes takes over a lone wolf such as myself. But at the same time I am losing some of the joys of just going out on the weekends with no plans and just letting the night sweep me away. I meet a ton of people and did a lot of stuff last year with people I would meet during the course of a night. I would call those instant friendships. They are like cup noodles except you just add alcohol instead of water, and presto you have a group of friends you can hang out with for a weekend, you may or may not see these people ever again in your life but for those few days it's like you have known each other for your whole lives. Everyone is quite comfortable (mostly because of the alcohol) and there are no worries. I was pretty much a friend for hire, I would stand around somewhere having a few drinks trying to decide on a direction when, a group of established friends would approach me and invite me to tag along, because I looked "interesting". Some of those instant friendships lasted on others are now just people I occasionally see who remember my name and I can only reply "ohh hey" (I don't remember you name) "but it has been awhile!"

So I don't know what to expect this year but so far I am pleased with things. Hopefully this year will continue to be kind to me! Good bye for now.

P.S. I need a phoneeeeeeeeeeee