Umm. . .

Akira and I. 

Ok to finish off this hospital story now is going to be hard since A.) I don't even remember what all I have talked about in the story so far and B.) My memory of the whole matter is cloudier than ever. So I will just end it with my Birthday.

So I was hoping to get out of the hospital on my birthday. It would have been a sweet birthday gift. But at the same time I wasn't really ready to get out. My mom assumed it was because I would be afraid of the real world or something. But the real reason is because I wanted one more chance to give my number to Yoko, and I wasn't sure when she would be my nurse again. But then right after we ate birthday cakes which Asumi brought, the doctor crushed the entire birthday evening, not that there was much to be crushed. But in the midst of our birthday celebration the doctor called Asumi away to tell her something important. That important news was that I will suffer from seizures for the next 2 years and that I could never be alone during that time. Which is impossible there is no way for me to be around someone 24/7. Plus I didn't believe I would have a seizure again. I mean would you listen to these doctors based on how unorganized and incompetent they have been?

I didn't get out on my birthday but I got out the next day and it felt pretty good to be out. I was definitely enjoying the Japanese summer weather. Shortly after that I came to America to get a lot of things cleared up regarding my health. I really wanted to stay in Japan, but it was necessary for me to come back to get some follow up medical checks done. My job is skeptical about keeping me on the payroll if I have seizures for the next 2 years. So I have to prove to them that I either won't have seizures or that I have medicine for my seizures.

Being back has been interesting. I always seem to discover something new about the people around me every time I come back here. This time I have found that a lot of my friends are really depressed or angry all the time. The contrast between my friends here and my friends in Japan is pretty startling. It could be because I have known my friends in America for soo many years that they let me into their lives a bit more. Or it could be that ex-patriots live a happy carefree life.

I have talked to a few friends from home quite often while I was in Japan, and I was well aware that those friends were kind of down in the dumps. But I was far removed from their problems, I would give advice when I could but I would generally talk to them when I was bored at work because most other times I was to busy enjoying myself.

I must also say that being around overly drunk people and not being drunk myself is quite interesting. I can look in awe at just how smashed people can become. And sometimes I can see a glimpse of my own past in some of these bumbling drunks. One of my favorite drunks so far has been Philip . I saw him I believe this Saturday or Friday perhaps, and he was so drunk he couldnt walk or talk. I found his hopeless situation to be intriguing to say the least. I wonder how he could get soo drunk, and what he must be going through. I wondered if the room was spinning for him, and if he had a headache. I remember a few times when my world was spinning from being overly drunk, those were the worst times, you feel so sick and you just want to die, but you fight through it, just to wake up and say "Never again the next morning", but then you do it all over again a few days later. 

At times I feel like I have infiltrated a secret society. I feel this way for multiple reasons, but the main reason is because I am persecuted by own on "society". Because I go out and hang around drunken people I am automatically guilty or suspicious based on association. If it's one thing I hate it's being persecuted, by non-believers. These persecutions come from overly suspicious people who don't believe I am capable of doing something I say I will. Like when I came back one night and my mom came in to smell me!?! I mean that is kind of dehumanizing and definitely some paranoia. I mean A) I am 23, I am quite capable of making my own decisions, I am not a 14 year old I don't need that kind of human interaction. B) If I say I am going to do something I will, I just don't say and do things overly stiff and serious (like some people would prefer). I am not in the army, so I will not give stiff direct answers. I like to flirt about and give easy going softer responses. 

I am just a bit to easy going and unconcerned with things. That might be my greatest strength and weakness. It is definitely my greatest strength when I am living by myself in another country but definitely a weakness when I am back in America. People in America (especially during these times) tend to let a lot of small problems consume them alive, until they are just hollow shells of anger and disappointment. The majority of people in Japan seem to not care, and those who are completed consumed by problems usually take their own lives. I am not condoning suicide here. If more people with problems, started turning to suicide then it would raise the problems and level of sadness of other people, possibly causing a chain reaction of suicides (if any of that makes sense). Ok just generally speaking 90% of the time when you see someone walking around in Japan they look either really unconcerned with anything, they are just going about their business. Here in America a lot of people look pissed off, either because they want to appear tough to outsiders, or because they generally are pissed. I am sure people in Japan are quite pissed off too at times, but they have mastered the facade of happiness. And when everyone around you looks happy and non-aggressive you can live a more care free life. I don't think there has ever been a time when I was walking around in Japan and been overly cautious wondering if some pissed off guy walking toward me might rob me or attack me because he feels trapped in his life. 

This has been a really random post, sorry.

I will leave you with this thought. If you are angry when you start drinking for the night, you might have the illusion of happiness for a short time, but when you wake up the anger will still be there. So drink for the happy moments, and drink twice as much. Because your drinking for me too ^_^!

Hospital days

Happier days! *Le sigh*

So I don't even really know where I left off last time. I know I was talking about my rash. So I will just skip right to the needles. I hate needles, especially when they are being forced under my skin. It might have been bad if the nurses didn't have to redo the needle insertion multiple times. There was one nurse in particular who had super hairy legs and a really annoying voice, she could NEVER get shit done right the first time EVER! She would stick an IV needle into my right arm like 6 times then be like ohh sorry I kept missing the vein, let me try the other arm then she would go to my left arm and fuck up like 8 more times until my arm was covered with band-aids to cover her fuck ups. I don't even have to say this, but I hated that nurse her voice was annoying her utter incompetence was annoying everything about her existence as a nurse got to me. It wasn't like my veins were playing hide & seek I can look at my arms and see a lot of my veins. 

But there was one nurse who made my time there okay. Named Yoko I thought she was quite attractive and we flirted quite a bit, everyday actually. Shit she even spanked me one night because I was walking around by myself. She told me "I was a bad boy", then took me to my room and spanked me. And she would wake me up by patting me on my ass each morning for breakfast. I thought she looked like something I didn't know what, then it hit me when my mom said she looks like a doll, she looks exactly like a doll. I was going to stay in the hospital an extra night just to give her my number so we could go out sometime. But I got such terrible news those last days that I just gave up all hope. I wish I did give Yoko my number though. I will regret this for a long time. But as my friend Chet said what if there was no "re" just "gret"?

But that wasn't the only action I got in the hospital! One day one of my doctor's came in put his hands under my shirt and started rubbing my nipples. He gave me a look that pretty much dared me to tell someone about what was happening. I was thinking maybe this was a medical test but he just rubbed on my nipples and left, didn't even say anything. At this point I started to seriously question the hospital.

And I lost all faith in the hospital when they lost my test results, and then confused my medical file with someone else! I don't know how they confuse my name which is foreign and written in Katakana with a Japanese person who's name is written in Kanji!?! 

First let's talk about the tests results they lost. The hospital did a check to see if I had Meningitis. It was supposed to be a one time test. It wasn't. . .

I am sure most of you don't know how doctor's test for Meningitis, so I will tell you. Doctor's do a Lumbar Puncture, which involves sticking a HUGE needle into your spine to withdraw spinal fluid. Is it painful? You bet your fucking ass it's painful.

So the doctor gave me "anesthesia" before the puncture. Just receiving the "anesthesia" was painful. And I say anesthesia in quotations because that shit didn't do anything. It made my back cold but I felt every bit of that needle going into my spine. And a lumbar puncture apparently isn't a one time puncture he kept pulling that needle out and jamming it back into my spine. It was so painful that Yoko had to hold me down and even offered to hold my hand during the procedure it was sweet of her, but I had to decline because I had to use my hands to hold my stomach. I felt like the needle was going to go through my spine and come out of my stomach. So after it was finally over the doctor said don't worry this test is only done one time. And I laid on my back relieved that the worst was over.

3 days passed and guess what they lost the result of my lumbar puncture! I had to do it again!! And Yoko wasn't there this time I had the nurse I despised holding me down, so it sucked even worse this time. After going through more agonizing pain I thought surely this time it was done. I mean after the 2nd Lumbar puncture my entire back was in excruciating pain, I just tried to lay as flat ass possible. I could feel the bandage on my back getting moist, when they took it off they discovered quite a bit of my spinal fluid had leaked out and was absorbed by the bandage and the bed, that explained why I was in soo much pain.

Eventually my back stopped hurting, and I was relieved that it was all done. About 5 days passed and the doctor came back, and guess what, they lost my test results AGAIN! At this point I really didn't even care if I had Meningitis. I told the doctor if I have Meningitis then I just have it I don't care anymore. But he told me how serious it is and so reluctantly I agreed for a 3rd Lumbar puncture. And again Yoko wasn't there, but the nurse that was there was really nice. She had given me a surprise enema one night. And there isn't too much more surprising than a completely unexpected enema. I liked the fact that she tried to be sneaky with the things she did. Like she would try to put an IV in my arm while I was asleep so I wouldn't feel it, and that was thoughtful. But you really can't just stick a needle into a sleeping person and expect them not to wake up, right!?! Technically no, but she got me one time. And it ended up sucking worse than maybe even the Lumbar puncture.

I like to go to the rest room when I wake up. I woke up and decided to run to the restroom before the nurse came around to put the IV in my arm. But the IV was already in my arm so when I hopped out of bed to go to the restroom the IV needle in my arm got twisted and bent up. My arm immediately started hurting but at the same time it was halfway numb. I started trying to pull the IV out myself but my other arm was kind of useless since my clavicle was broken and I had slept on my hand. So I just started yelling as loud as I could. My blood was shooting up the IV and starting to fill the IV bag. Eventually the ninja nurse (her actual name was Saya) came and pulled the IV out of my arm. She apologized for not waking me up when she put it in, and then started to wipe my other arm down to insert an IV into that arm. I was fed up I jumped out of the bed and started walking to the exit of the hospital I wanted to leave right then and there. They had to call both doctors and Yoko to calm me down and convince me to go back to my bed. I didn't listen to the doctors because they had proved their incompetence, but Yoko promised me she would make sure I got my favorite lunch everyday. The lunch wasn't quite enough I just kind of stood there I didn't move towards either the exit or the bed but just stood there thinking. Then Yoko said something really silly engrish that made me laugh and I went back to my bed. Later on Saya came to give me a new IV, I told her NO! Then the doctor came and tried to convince me that the medicine would help me, and I was thinking help me with what? Get another rash!?! WTF are you talking about? I told the doctor not today. He still tried to talk me into it. I told him if they stuck that IV in my arm I would leave that hospital late at night when there wouldn't be people around to stop me. And they knew I stay up really late because my rash wouldn't allow me to sleep. So for one whole day I had no IV!

Alas this story is long, and I am tired and in a bit of pain so yet again it will be continued.

What Happened???

Here is a picture from the BBQ

The little Kei car that couldn't!

And a picture of people playing what appears to be a NES at MET's. . .

That is the question that everyone wants to know including me. WTF happened to me that landed me in the hospital? This is what I remember:

I went to a BBQ on a Sunday which was foolish since I knew I would be drinking and I knew I had to wake up at like 7am the next day. Waking up early after drinking never really works out. If I had went home right after the BBQ I would have been fine. I did go home but that was just so I could get my bike so I could ride it back home later on. I should have just stayed at home. But of course if I did then I wouldn't be writing any of this, so we all know I didn't stay home. So I went to MET's and did nomihodai, and it was fun as always met some new people. Most of which were hosts. And as you know I dislike hosts and hostesses, but this time I didn't even care. So at around 12am or 1am I decided I better leave since I had work the next day. Of course before I headed to the Don Quixote to get some food to eat. 

But I never made it to the Don, and instead ended up in the hospital. I don't even know if I was on my bike or not I don't remember anything other than I left somehow and never made it to my destination. I want to say I was on my bike, but there is no damage at all to my bike, the only thing amiss was one of my handlebar plugs was missing. But everything else is completely fine. And my bike is fragile so I think if I got in a crash on it that at least the whole front end would break since it's all carbon fiber. But I have no idea if I was on the bike or not. If I was on the bike and crashed I couldn't have been going that fast since there aren't any new scratches that would have suggested I slid.

So now that I gave my vague account of what may or may not have occurred let's talk about the hospital where I know about 95% of what happened. Apparently on my first day I had a seizure of course I wouldn't remember that so that is part of the 5% of hospital time I don't remember. Things were going okay at first, or so I thought. I had no idea that the IV going into my arm was destroying my liver. I was carrying along okay despite obvious pain. The hospital food sucked really bad so I barely ate anything, so that made me tired all the time. But the ICU was okay I had a nurse sitting at a desk in front of me 24/7 it was kind of creepy at times though since all she did was sit at the desk and stare at me. And since I could barely move all I did when I was awake was stare at her. Eventually I got moved to another room. And everyone in my new room was insane, the guy too my left was constantly screaming and was strapped to his bed. The guy to my right wasn't strapped down but he was just as crazy. If either one of them had attacked me I would have been a goner since they had the strength of an insane person on their side, and I had the strength of a person who hadn't eaten that much in days.

Luckily instead of attacking me they spent there waking hours trying to escape they both came close to escaping several times but they always got caught. I thought there attempts at escaping were pretty hilarious. Then I realized I wasn't exactly wanting to be in the hospital either way too many needles, and the longer I stayed the more times needles were stuck in my arm. Until on my last few days I had so many needle marks on my arm plus a rash that I looked like I was coming down off of a heroin binge. 

Let's talk about that rash. I had it twice! The first time it was only in a few spots on my body and it was only on me for a few days maybe and then it started to go away, ON IT'S OWN! The doctors noticed and started trying to treat me for the rash which was already going away. Their treatment can only be described by this analogy: 

Imagine if you will a small forest fire that is starting to diminish the fire has run it's course. Then a group of firefighters rush to the scene to douse the fire with water, only it's not water they are using it's gasoline! Suddenly the fire erupts and goes out of control burning the whole forest down. 

That is pretty much what happened. As soon as they "treated" the rash it went crazy whereas before it was on one of my arms and on one foot now it was everywhere. And it was painful and itchy. It was like having a sunburn and poison Ivy at the same time on your whole body. You are really itchy but it hurts to touch your skin. So you just sit there in agony. So for almost a week I just laid in my bed itchy and in pain, oh plus I had a headache and then later on my hands and feet started to hurt so the situation was getting worse by the day. And all of these came about because of their "treatment" to a problem that was fixing itself. 

I am tired so I will continue this later.