Wall painting at the Happy Mexican. Awesome Fajitas!

Came back to America on the 8th of December, and I am unable to do roughly half of the stuff I set about to do here. I am a person who likes to get their money's worth. And so far I can't justify the cost of the entire trip to America yet. I am keeping a tally of any value of whatever it is I am doing here.

I had one hell of a welcome home though! When I left Osaka the weather was pretty warm I was able to wear shorts on most days, and the skies were clear and sunny. When I came back to Memphis the weather was cold and dreary, and it rained hard my entire first day. Also I got sick on that first day, and I am still sick right now. I decided to not let the rain keep me from seeing my friends, I only had a few of their numbers written hastily on a napkin. And almost all the friends I called said they couldn't hang out either because they were working or because they just didn't feel like it. WELCOME HOME!

Actually it wasn't all that bad my mom meet me at the airport with Hummus and Pita Chips yummy. But she also told me some ridiculous news. But Hummus trumps all, especially spicy Hummus.

The things I wanted to do while visiting America, (Basil said not to say "visit" since I am America more on him in a later installment) are take my new projector and PS3 back with me to Japan, see my friends, eat food I can't easily find in Japan. Upon coming back I realized my new Projector is pretty large and there is no way I could take this on a plane with me, so that is a failure. I can still take the PS3 with me so I am probably saving like $50 - $100 shipping that to Japan, still doesn't make up for the cost of actually coming to America. And as far as seeing my friends, we will just get to that later. I have been able to eat some food that would either be impossible to find or needlessly expensive in Japan, so that is a success.

Now as far as my friends. Of course they change over time, people change in general it's part of life. But they have changed dramatically this time around. And just because change is a part of life, doesn't mean I have to like or accept these changes. The most striking change is that for the most part most of my friends have become angry alcoholics, there is a fine line between a fun loving drunk and a bitter alky. And frankly they aren't straddling that line very well, at least in my eyes. But allow me to elaborate on this, so I won't just be "whining" like my friends said I was (lol).

So since I live in Japan I decided that instead of just letting the stuff I leave behind sit around and collect dust why not let other people use it and get enjoyment from it. I let friends borrow tons of video games, DVDs, thousands of dollars worth of hi-end audio equipment, my old DLP projector, clothes, and shoes. I mean you name it, and I probably let people borrow it while I live overseas. In fact I have lent out so many things, to so many different people that I have lost track of a lot of it, and it doesn't bother me generally. Another thing that doesn't bother me is when some of my stuff is accidentally misplaced or broken. I learned in college that stuff will get broken a lot even if you take great care of stuff, electronic equipment will still break down or malfunction it happens. So why am I bringing this up? Well there is a difference between accidents and malicious actions. And this time around I am facing malicious actions.

This time when I returned I decided to get back a few of my games and DVDs to take back with me. No problem, I mean I actually knew who had the things I wanted back. I meet my friends and Huey's and told them that I wanted some of my stuff back, they told me they had pawned it. I laughed because I thought it was a joke, I mean why would they pawn it? They had both gotten new jobs and were making more cash, so it's not like they were struggling, plus Memphis is a cheap place to live. So we went to chill at their apartment, and I was like alright jokes over were is my stuff at? And guess what they actually did pawn MY stuff!?! I asked them why they pawned stuff I let them borrow, because it made no sense to me. One of them immediately started yelling at me, and his logic was that over a year ago I accidentally took their copies of two games. Which I apologized for years ago, and even gave them some gifts from my old city in Japan. So what did they do in return they got bitter over something insignificant, and instead of accepting my apology for a genuine accident, they decided to pawn my stuff off just to be dicks. And as if that wasn't enough they demanded that I replace the two games from a year ago. What I did was an accident their actions were deliberate.

And it doesn't end there either, they alluded to violence to get their motives accomplished. They explained how 1 year ago (that's one full year ago) they were going to beat my ass for a genuine mistake I made, on the information that I received from another friend. If they were going to beat anyone's ass I would say fight the guy who told me that they were my copies of the game. And it isn't even like I broke into their house and stole this shit either, one of the guys was there and I was like I think these are mine and he was like yea okay. So they were alluding to still trying to fight me today, which is crude and silly. I would expect people to automatically escalate things to violence in Atlanta but I was disappointed to see this kind of thing happening amongst my own "friends" in Memphis.

And then of course there is the shit talking that comes with excessive drinking. Several of my friends including some of the friends previously mentioned have decided to just flat out talk trash to me. Why? Because I refuse to just get shit faced drunk with them, and it's not like I won't drink with them at all, I will have a beer or two, but I don't really want to just sit around and drink a whole handle of whiskey with people who are bitter about their job but at the same time trying to impress their co-workers (who are usally around now too) at my expense. Talking shit to me to impress your co-workers is pretty low, in my book. I still have about 4 or 5 friends who are still the same easy going people I remember so that is great. But these days it seems that my really good friends are my friends in Japan. I appreciate their open mindedness and acceptance of all lifestyles. Only in Japan can I be a part of a large group of people consisting of: heterosexuals, bisexuals, lesbians, alcoholics, smokers, non-smokers, businessmen, hippies, people who don't drink and bar tenders. I would never dream of hanging out with such a varied friend base, ALL AT ONE TIME, in Memphis. Perhaps in California something like that is possible but not in Memphis, I have to keep separate groups of friends to avoid clashes whereas in Japan friends of my friends are my friends by default.

But this trip has some redeeming factors I am enjoying this time sent with my family. So that is value added! But man I would be super pissed if my family wasn't here showing me the love they are. There is more I want to say in this especially about all the chaos that is happening in Japan since I am not there to handle shit. But I will save that perhaps for later, getting ready to hit the gym.

Train Tales

The Train Wranglers pushing in a few extra passengers in an already overcrowded train!



After talking to my friend Josh it has occured to me that some things I have skipped over in my blog might need to be revisted. So I present to you this installment entitled "Train Tales".

The first tale takes place on a train on the Yamanote Loop in Tokyo I was on my way to Shibuya, and the train was pretty crowded. Crowded to the point were I couldn't easily move my arms. 2 minutes into the 20 minute ride someone spanked my ass. I quickly looked about to see who the culprit was, but everyone around me was either asleep, text on their phone, or playing a Nintendo DS. I figure it was just an accident and thought nothing more about it. Then 1 minute later it happened again! I looked around to see who it could be but again I couldn't tell. This time I was on guard, and sure enough it happened again! I tried to get at least one possible suspect but I couldnt fathom anyone around me slowly spanking me. The spanking continued for the entire time I was riding the train. So I basically got slowly spanked over a 20 minute period.

The next train tale involved a train that was even more crowded. Some of you may have seen the Japanese "Train wranglers" before in pictures. What they do is push people into trains that are so full that peoples' faces are smashed against the window. I had the unfortunate time of being in a train where their services were required. I was in a relatively empty train, but at one stop in particular droves of people boarding the train car I was on. There were soo many people pushed up against me that the force of their bodies against mine lifted me right off the floor!My feet didn't touch the ground for 10 minutes. It was hot and smelly, with the smell of salary men. And the one next to me looked like he was going to throw up. And sure enough he did, but luckily it missed me and went all over 4 peoples legs and a baby's face. Thank goodness I was floating at the time!

The most recent train tale and the last for this mini series involved me being on a train for over 4 hours, and not intentionatlly either. Japanese people have the uncanny ability to sleep on the train and wake up exactly at their stop. I figured I have lived here long enough so I should be able to do the same thing right? WRONG! I missed my stop 6 times I rode the train in a complete loop 6 times!! The conductor would always wake me up at the the beginning of the train loop and ask me where I was going. I would always tell him Kireuriwari. And we would run the train and watch me miss my stop over and over again only to ask me at the beginning of the loop again where I was going. It was like being in the Twilight Zone, I thought I would never make it off that train eventually I realized I couldnt just sleep and magically know when my stop was coming up. I didnt have the circadian rhythms to do so. Well that is all for now またね~

Osaka, my new city! Yes it's wayy better than Tokyo.

So the last blog was about a computer I got for mi madre, nothing malicious as some people might have assumed.

So moving on, it has been awhile since I blogged. The reason being is I sold my laptop a few weeks back. I am currently in an internet cafe writing this blog. Alot has happened and is stil happening. I got a new job! Working 10 less hours a week and making an extra 30,000円 ($300) a month! I put in an application for a swanky new apartment in downtown Osaka, which is where I will be living now. I am still waiting to hear back from the apartment complex. One thing I will never understand about Japan is the whole real estate system. For some reason Japanese rentors are opposed to renting out to foreigners. Alot of times it is easier to become a UN representative than it is ti rent an apartment. The apartment I want has been vacant for awhile, I already showed them I am serious by putting down the $720 for the first months rent. And they were like umm we got to think about this. What is there to think about you can either have a tenant and make money or continue to let the apartment sit vacant and make nothing. Obviously Japanese rentors aren`t well versed in "opportunity costs".



I am hoping to hear something soon, I told them on last friday　I want to move in on the 26th, which is tomorrow, and I haven`t heard any kind of a response. I can forsee this year being pretty expensive. I need a new laptop of course, plus I need a washing machine, microwave, refrigerator, and a bed. I am going to try and get all that stuff pretty cheaply, but it will still probably cost like $300-$400. In addition I want to be able to play video games again. It's been a long time since I was able to sit down with my friends and play some games over the internet. I either want my Xbox sent to me or a brand new PS3! And of course that means I will need a video source, and seeing as I am opposed to TVs that means I need a projector. So very quickly my costs are rising lol. I will wait and see how things play out I am currently living off of my japanese savings, but that won't last very long.



Another thing is that I am in talks of joining an improv comedy team in Osaka! I am more of a stand-up comedian, but what ever as long as it's comedy I am down. So the end of this year has the potential to be explosive! I have to get through this week first. Unfortunately I am still in Isesaki trying to get stuff done. I really hope I hear about the apartment tomorrow so that when I go to Osaka Friday night for my cousin's wedding I will have a place to live. Or else I will be H-O-M-E-L-E-S-S. Actually I will just stay in an apartment, but still those costs add up, and I need to conserve money so I can get a new laptop early next year and possibly a game system this year. I really do wish I could be in America this time of year, not only to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with my family, but also to buy a PS3 from Wal-Mart's Black Friday sale. Looks like I want see my friends and family again till next year

Where is my mind?

This picture has more to do with this blog than you think!

(especially considering that you don't know what this blog is about)

My brain is swimming in thoughts right now! Which is actually a good thing because thinking gives me energy (for some odd reason). With all the insomnia I have thanks to Tinnitus, I can use energy! One person is consuming my thoughts though. Because I am just days away from spring something totally unsuspecting on her. While I won't quite get even with her, I can be entertained by imagining what the look on her lovely face will be like when she finds out what I have done. I expect there to be shock that I would pull something like this off, followed by awe at what will come to transpire. The hour draws near, and I in the back of my mind I think she might expect this (but I am not 100% sure she does). Just have to wait and see.

And while we are talking of such things. Today some Japanese lady gave me the ridiculous proposition of me teaching her private English lessons. It wouldn't have been ridiculous, except the classes would involve me PAYING her to come and teach her English on the weekends!! LOL WTF LADY! Not only did I not want to be around here when she was telling me this horrible idea, but I damn sure wouldn't want to pay her to waste MY weekends to teach HER English. I mean honestly what the hell is she thinking.

People are undoubtedly reading this and saying WTF is he talking about here. But I wouldn't bring something up with out fully explaining it (to the best of my ability). So you will just have to stick around to see how this Halloween extravaganza will play out.

To be continued. . .

Plan B!!!

I will regard today as the turning point in my life (at least in regards to my thoughts). I have never been one for any kind of long term plan or for that matter any plans. My life up until this point has just been a bunch of random occurrences. But as I get older and gain more knowledge I start to think differently. And after months of complete shit at least in thinking things look great.

I am so hopeful and excited I don't even know where to begin with this blog, no matter how far my thoughts progress I still find it hard to accurately convey everything I want to say in one cohesive medium. But here goes. . .

What is Plan B? Well as many of you probably don't know I have been working on a stand-up comedy routine for awhile now at least half a year by now. I usually just let life experiences shape my jokes as opposed to sitting there trying to force a joke to come to mind. So I have been thinking increasingly about just pursuing a career as a comedian. Definitely a risky venture, even if I am successful the potential for return is very uncertain. So I started searching for a medium between the apparent risks I would face. And now things that have been right under my nose this entire time have jumped out at me.

Why not just open a comedy club!?! By opening my own comedy place I could do comedy there, as well as provide a venue other local comedians could try out their routines. And best of all I would be my own boss! But where is the cheapest place to do that? I have always wanted to live in California (even though I have never been there). But as we all know California is quite expensive and opening a business there must be ridiculously expensive I would burn through my resources quicker than a space ship full of money on a collision course with the sun. So I put this idea on the back burner for awhile and continued to work on my comedy routine, and apply for "normal" jobs in corporate america (which I would probably despise). For months now I have continuously read about one city that has faced the worst of the current economic recession. I would read articles about 7 bed room houses in this city for sale at a measly $10,000 and still not selling (that is crazy!). I would read about the hundreds of thousands of unemployed sedentary people trapped in this city of hopelessness with nothing to look forward to than other than their next job interview.

What city is this? Most of you should already know that city is Detroit. For awhile I have simply thought man it would suck to live there that sounds horrible. But wait maybe I am thinking about Detroit all wrong! I started to think about things I like when I am feeling down, hopeless, or just plain fed up. I like to laugh to lighten the mood and I like a tasty brew! And reports are showing that despite of the heavy weight of depressed jobs that Detroit's people still want to reach out for some light hearted fun with halloween sales and parties remaining constant and even rising in some areas. So that started to tip the scale for me and then I read this article. And that was it I had found my place.

Not only could I get a house for super cheap but I could also open a small business with few barriers and low start up costs as most venues in Detroit are vacant eye sores. Right now I am calling this "Plan B", but to be honest this is the plan. As others have said the only thing that stood in there way was themselves. In my case I am not a barrier to my own entry. In this case my barrier would be someone else. Someone who with made even dreaming of something like this even a possibility. Someone who is very conservative and cautious in their approach to things. But in the end ultimately it will come down to me and my own determination. There are times to be cautious and there are times to through caution to the wind. And I think this time calls for the latter.

I would of course love the support of my family and anyone else who would like to help me pursue this venture. Anything helps not just money, if you have some knowledge that could help, such as legal knowledge, or anything else I am open to anything. Even if you want to stand in my way I am up for that too! I know that I risk losing a lot in this, but I could stand to gain autonomy in a way I could only dream of, this will prevent me from really pursuing an active comedy career of course but it will allow me to do comedy at some level as well as to shine the spotlight on other comedians. Just thinking about this all week has made me happy every day I wake up! It's as if nothing can get me down because I have hope and for the first time in my life I have an actual plan that is long term and matters to me. I am not doing this because someone else wants me to or because I think it will make someone else happy (which is what most of my decisions have been based on) I am doing this for me. Now it's just a matter of getting the pieces together.

Of and if your curious "Plan A" was just moving to Tokyo and working there until March and then coming back to the States with nothing and just wingin' it. I don't even want to call that a "Plan" anymore though, because by doing that I would just be wasting my time, I have had some interesting times here in Japan but I think it's time to start working on my long term goals and leave this short term shit behind. This is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done, and I couldn't be more excited!

^_^!!!

Something strange is happening here. . .

Roku

Right now I am trying to use the Google Maps application on my iPhone and it is acting strange. I am sitting in my apartment in Japan and when I hit the button for the GPS to determine my current location it is telling me that I am at my house in America. Not only that when I move around in this city the GPS indicator moves around on the map of Memphis! I guess home truly is where the heart is, because this is crazy. Not only have I never used the Google maps feature of my phone in America, I have never looked up my house on it ever, so for it to pinpoint my location in Japan as my home in America is very strange.

Well today was a great day then at the last second it kind of crumbled apart. I went to Takasaki to get a work permit for my new job in Tokyo. I thought the process would take a long time so I went to the immigration kind of early, and the process didn't take that long at all! After getting the permit I faxed it to my new employer then hit the town. Decided I would go to my favorite Turkish restaurant and get a Beef Kabob! It was closed when I got there so I thought about going to another place to eat but at the last second I decided to go to an art museum I had seen on my last visit to Takasaki. The featured artist was a Japanese man by the name of Roku. His works were beautiful they captured his childhood vividly! Even though he did paintings of his childhood as an adult the way in which he produced the paintings made it seem as though he had painted each piece when he was a child at the exact moment the scene in the piece was occurring. I took a few pictures at the exhibit (secretly), but the pieces I liked the most I couldn't photograph because guards were watching out for people like me! But here are some photos of his work I did manage do capture on film.

Roku's Showa (Boy's Day) a Japan's festival.

A childhood Hanami (reader's should know what Hanami is)

Listening to an Orchestra of giant Crows

After the exhibit I went back to the Turkish restaurant in the hopes that they would be open by that time it was 11am. Nothing really opens in Japan till around 10am. The only saps who have to be up before this time are people who work at convenience stores and teachers (sigh). I got back to the restaurant and now it was 11:40am, it was still closed! So I decided maybe I will do some shopping, and waste a bit more time. But in order to do that I needed a bit more money I only had about 1,000円 on me. So I looked on my map to find the nearest 7-11 to use the ATM (Google Maps worked properly then). The closet 7-11 was a bit of a distance, so I mapped out a route, and just as I was about to head out the owner of the Turkish restaurant came up and greeted me. He remembered me from my last visit, I sat down and ordered and chatted with him as he made my lunch. I had the Beef Kabob and a Turkish Yogurt drink which isn't what you expect a Yogurt based drink to be like. It wasn't sweet, so much as it was bitter and salty, but it complimented the Beef Kabob nicely.

Turk Sky

Beeg Kabob and the salty Yogurt drink!

After lunch I went to a few stores before coming to one where I debated on whether or not to buy some bright red plaid pants. After much deliberation I got a phone call from my new employer.

This is when things went down hill.

The lady on the phone told me the position and the apartment I would have had with the job were both filled. Surely they didn't JUST fill them that day because I had just sent my work permit to them at like 10am bright and early. So that means the position had to have been filled for awhile and they carried on in all of our previous phone conversations like the job and apartment was still available. This both infuriated me and made me laugh. I was angry because they could have simply told me awhile ago that the position was filled and I could have saved myself the time and effort. She tried to smooth things over by offering me a crappy position in some one horse town, but then my phone "lost reception" and the call dropped :P

So now I not only had to come to the decision on the pants I had to come to a decision on my future; since in about 2 weeks I will pretty much be homeless and jobless! I acted on what I could control and bought the pants and man are they comfortable, sure people back in the states might call them gay or ridiculous. But rest assured I will be ridiculously comfortable! So now I am pretty much back to the drawing board here applying for jobs in Tokyo trying to start over again, but I have a mellow attitude about all that is happening. Seeing Roku's works has brought me great joy! I wish everyone could see the exhibit. But you will just have to get a glimpse of it vicariously through me.

What gives!?!

Rhana and I

Yesterday I was at the gym preparing for some long drawn out conversation when I went up to the front desk to cancel my membership. I started forming the Japanese sentences in my head to convey my thoughts. I said the first sentence to the girl at the front desk telling her this would be my last month in Isesaki. She stopped me right there and said I can use English! I was shocked because when I came to the gym to sign up I asked if there was someone there who could go over the fine details with me in English and she was working that day but did she offer her help? Not at all. So now months later I find out that she speaks English pretty well. So I told her I was leaving and was going to cancel my membership. She asked why I explained all mishaps that I had happen to me while living here. And she said that she was sad.

I assumed she was sad that I had soo much misfortune but I was only partially right. It seems this whole time she has been watching/semi-stalking me at the gym. She said she has liked me since I first joined but was too shy to say anything. As touching as that is it came a bit too late. It's not like she was bad looking either in fact she was pretty cute. But nothing is going to derail me from my course! And a nice little reminder of why I need to get the hell out of here has happened today.

As I was sitting at work waiting to do the speech contest after school, I decided to check on facebook to see what the other ALTs were up to. Pretty much every ALT has the day off tomorrow because of the typhoon that is going to ravage Japan tomorrow. But not me! That's right I will be up bright and early braving 153km winds an hour winds to get to work just to sit at my desk. The students at least get to come a bit later than usual. But I actually have to be there earlier than usual, for a meeting about the typhoon! If that isn't the biggest bag of shit ever, I don't know what is. Plain and simple the Isesaki Board of Education is full of idiots as far as I am concerned. First they took 2 weeks from my summer vacation when I came back; time which I thought I could use to recover from my accident, and now this! I love my school to death (not literally mind you), but the BOE can be blown away in this typhoon for all I care. I can't wait to be done dealing with them. The end is near. Let's just hope I don't get seriously injured trying to travel through a typhoon to get work. Even though I live quite close to the school anything could happen, maybe a fence will blow into me or I will just get sick from being in the rain and having to sit around all day in wet clothes.

Here's to you Isesaki, you never give up on trying to destroy me!

Third time isn't the charm.

Some of the (many) spots of blood. . .

I thought this was a bad dream but the blood reminds me it isn't

There are more but you get the idea.

This was a quiet weekend in my apartment. I was going to go out on a date with a Japanese cougar but then I decided ehh I want some me time. So instead I watched some movies and ate some foods I like. Saturday rolled around and I thought he I can call Rhana my Brazilian friend, maybe I can invite her over and we can watch some movies together! But then at the last minute I was like wait this place is a mess, and I don't feel like cleaning it up. So again I watched some movies by myself. Sunday rolled around, and I was biding my time before I had to go and teach one of my Brazilian students. As I am sitting in my apartment watching Family Guy, one of my Brazilian friends burst into my apartment covered in blood and wielding a knife. He ran up to me and slapped the Melon Pan I was eating out of my hand!

I have never mentioned Melon Pan before but I am addicted to it. When I leave Japan that will be the one thing I miss the most! So with that said when I am eating Melon Pan I am not expecting some bloody guy to run up and frantically slap it out of my hand, but that is precisely what happened. So after I got over the initial shock of having my tasty treat rendered useless, then I slipped into the shock of seeing my friend covered in blood and holding a knife. My first thoughts were hmm he might have just killed someone, and he might try to kill me too. So how did I react then?

The first thing I said was "Hey man why did you knock my Melon Pan on the floor and get blood all over it? I was eating that and now it's gone. That Melon Pan was innocent, it didn't do anything wrong." Keep in mind here that I don't often get to enjoy Melon Pan since I try and eat healthy and maintain my weight. So not only was this one of those rare times but I had splurged on the jumbo Melon Pan and that wasn't cheap.

He looked back at me and said "F&*k that Melon Pan something serious is happening here man. He said we have to go now!" I probably shouldn't have went with a man covered with blood holding a knife, but what he said next made all the common sense I had suddenly disappear. "I have just been stabbed (that explains the blood). And the people who stabbed me followed me here!"

WTFFF why the hell did he lead potential murders to my apartment! Not wanting to just sit in my apartment while some crazed maniacs closed in on us I fled with him. The way I saw it I could either say "No" and sit there by myself and possibly be attacked alone or go with him and be attacked with someone else. Considering the fact that if I got attacked with someone else that would give the assailants a distraction and me a chance to escape. Because the way I see it a criminal will commit violent acts against who ever they can apprehend. So as long as I can out run them (which I am sure I could) then they would stop chasing me and attack him. However if it's just me and no one else to pursue they would be a lot more relentless in pursuit of me.

So I spent the next hours riding around in a car with my friend as he explained frantically what happened. Then came the point where I realized I had made the wrong decision. I asked him where we were headed? He told me Bombar which is a Brazilian bar/club. So I was like wait a minute we are running from a group of Brazilian gangster and we are going to a Brazilian bar? That doesn't seem smart. So naturally I asked if they were there. And he said yes they probably were! Whoa I thought we were supposed to be fleeing these guys not rushing to engage them. And that is when he was like together we can get them back there is another knife in the back seat we can take them together.

WHOAAAAAAAAAA! I never agreed to get into a knife fight. So know I was thinking of opening the car door and just jumping out and hoping I didn't break too many bones. Breaking a few bones is a lot better than being stabbed, I don't want my squishy organs to be punctured with some random dirty knife, that's how swine flu is spread people! So know I was thinking well Kenny ole boy this is going to be it, the last hooray. You are going to be stabbed trying to flee from Bombar. So I sent my sister a message on facebook expressing my intentions to leave everything to her in the event of my death. Since I don't have a will but I definitely seem to need one.

We got to Bombar and there were 2 Brazilians standing outside holding batons. We pulled up near them and I got ready to bolt as soon as the car stopped. I fumbled with the lock though and didn't quite make it out so gracefully as I had imagined it. But it was okay because they were there to help them. I still ran anyway, to a Brazilian owned Barber shop where some other Brazilians I know work. I stayed there for awhile. Then I realized that my phone was in the car. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

So I killed time until I thought okay surely whoever is going to be killed has been killed by now so I made my way back to Bombar and my friend and his car was gone, along with my phone. I had someone call him and tell him to come back to Bombar. He came back and I got my phone and then ran back to my place, I didn't want anything else to do with that whole situation.

My step-sister boiled it down quite nicely only I could have soo many insane things happen to me in a small town where chickens seem to outnumber people! When I move into the heart of Tokyo she asked me what would happen to me then? And with how bizarre things have been in my current city I wouldn't think it to be too far fetched for me to be assaulted by mutants, or mauled by a bear in an elevator, maybe I will be abducted by aliens. Seems the new prime minister and his wife have been abducted and taken to Venus so what's to say I won't be abducted as well!

ほとんど。。。

Well today I almost got hit by a car! If that car had hit me it would have totally trashed my bike, and probably sent me flying. And this time it wasn't my fault at all. The lady driving the car decided she wanted to see what I looked like since she was driving behind me and couldn't really see my face. Now this is nothing new cars tend to drift towards me in a vain attempt to see what I look like since I'm a foreigner in a small town where the people don't see foreigners that often. But this lady went above and beyond she speed up really quickly passing me by about an inch. Her car was so close to me that my handle bars scratched her car. Once she heard the scratch she immediately try to pull over to see the scratch. Only problem with that maneuver was that I was still on the side of her car, she still tried the maneuver anyway luckily I have had cars drift towards me often enough that I can react very quickly and that is what I did I turned with her whilst accelerating rapidly. End result that lady's reckless curiousness caused her car to get messed up and I was unscathed!

So I am still torn here, about what I should do. I am trying to decide if I should just move to Tokyo, and hope for the best which seems to be the best route of getting a job in Tokyo. Since my friend Rory quit his job in Isesaki and then simply moved to Tokyo where he found a job in like 3 days! I have an offer for a position in Tokyo but it is only part time, but that would give me some income while I looked for something full time. On the one hand I am practically in Tokyo every weekend and traveling back and forth between Isesaki and Tokyo is tiring. But I have some really cool friends here in Isesaki and I would hate to leave them behind, but lately I don't even see them that much anymore because I am always in Tokyo. But also there is the fact that I don't think I will be here past March of next year, so I am also thinking why bother? I guess long story short I will be attempting to move to Tokyo.

Where the money at?

Today is the last day of a month from hell. Bad thing is the hellish days are spilling over into next month, but on the 10th of September things should be back to normal for me (for the most part). I went out to celebrate the fact that I would get some money back from the hospital. I was planning on going after school but those plans dissolved quicker than Alka Sletzer in a glass of Coke. I find that working as an ALT makes it pretty much impossible to get anything useful done in my own life. By the time I get off work half of the places I need to go to are closed. The City Hall closes at like 5pm I get off work at like 4:25pm if I am lucky, or run fast so nobody ask me to do some dumb shit at the last possible second. And I am not sure about like paying bills and stuff but that stuff probably closes early too. So I somehow managed to get to the City Hall before it closed on Thursday, I was expecting to walk out of there with about 50,000円. When my number was called the guy at window 3 told gave me some forms and told me I had to go to the hospital to get their はんこ (stamp) of approval. Great! Problem is I had no idea how to get to the hospital. No worries iPhone to the rescue! I used google maps to plot a course from the City Hall to the zip code on the letter from the hospital. When I arrived at my destination it was just some shady ass alley I didn't see anything anywhere in the vicinity that even looked like a hospital, frustrated I gave up and returned home. The next day while running at the gym I decided to text Christal and she if she knew were it was. She did! Score!

Armed with a new address I set out on my search again. This time I actually found the hospital and I proudly walked in to where I would be receiving the money. The desk was closed! Just my luck right? So I had to try again the next day. The next day I figured I would try a different route to the hospital that should have been a shortcut. It ended up being a long cut as I got lost for like 30 minutes, I was just about to give up, when I found something that looked familiar and success I made it there. This time the desk was open, I gave the lady my form she gave me a shady look. Asked the guy next to her some questions then told me to sit down, then she went in the back and started looking through a bunch of forms, I was starting to think she was going to give me a hard time. I was about to say "look lady this money isn't coming out of your pocket now fork that shit over!" It was almost as if she knew that all this time I never paid my share of Japanese pension or healthcare, I dodge that shit like the Matrix. At first I didn't pay into the pension or health care because I am a freaking foreigner, and I am not spending my hard earned money to support old Japanese people who fall down and go to the hospital or something like that. Plus I never thought I would use a Japanese hospital. But then after I went to the Japanese hospital I got completely fucked over, so they should be paying me!

She called me back up 15 minutes later and put he stamp on my forms and I held out my hand for the cash and started thinking of what I was going to buy to eat after leaving. She put some papers in my hand and I am not talking about money, she just gave me more forms to take to the City Hall! WTF. By this time the City Hall was closed, so I had to wait until the following day.

The following day came and it was raining outside but I didn't care I needed money. I rode my bike through the rain got completely soaked walked into the City Hall and it was closed so that it could be vacuumed! What!?! Couldn't they still be open or vacuum at night! I mean it's not like I can come there whenever I want to I got to work all damn day! In fact I think the City Hall made my contract just so I couldn't ever come there and talk with the people there, it's a conspiracy I tell you! They are trying to prevent me from doing anything in my own personal life. So I came back the next day and luckily no one was there so I didn't have to wait. I walked right up to a window with my forms, the guy took one look at me then walked me over to the ticket machine and made me take a number, then he told me to sit down and wait for my number to be called. There was NO ONE THERE but regardless I sat patiently for about 10 minutes and watched the guy sit at his desk staring at me from behind the window with his hand over the button that changed the sign to the next number. I kept looking at him and then the number sign wonder WTF he was thinking. Finally he pushed the button and my number was called I took all my papers up to him and then he said I would get the money on September 18th. Noooooooooooooooooo! It won't even matter then as I get paid on the 10th.

I was happy that I had at least gotten something done and it only took like a week! Except I wasn't done. Today at school the City Hall called me and told me they needed my はんこ. I wondered why they didn't tell me that when I turned my papers in because I could have easily stamped those papers. The lady asked on the phone asked me when I would come in, and I told her I had to work because the City Hall made my hours inconveniently long. She told me "がんばって" (good luck) and then hung up the phone. Wanting this all to be over with as soon as I hung up the phone I bolted for the City Hall I didn't have another week to spend fooling around with this I wanted this done NOW! So that is what I have been spending most of last week doing. And I have nothing to show for it. At least not now. . .

Oh well just another day in the life of a Kenny.

久しぶりね！

Vera tried so hard to sleep. . .

But we wouldn't allow it!

Fireworks over Ohtawara!

A portable shrine being carried by some very drunk people.

Hello all! Hello me!

It has been awhile since I have been able to put my thoughts down in writing. And man has a lot of stuff happened. I am obviously back in Japan now, but without further ado let's begin shall we.

My trip back started off hilariously bad. I got to spend a bit of time with my little sister and mom joking around a bit in the airport which was fun. Those are two of my favorite ladies in the world. If I had to chose between saving one or the other I think I would opt to sacrifice myself instead and save them both. But anyway the trip started off pretty good I had stayed up the whole night before so that I could sleep the whole way back. Sleeping really helps pass the time on a 17+ hour flight to Japan. I was dead tired by the time I got into Atlanta, and I was ready to sleep on the way to Japan. Only problem is I didn't make it onto the plane bound for Japan. Instead I arrived to a gate with a locked boarding door so I sat there waiting for someone to come and scan my ticket so I could attempt to board the plane before it actually left. So I waited at the gate for around 10 minutes watching baggage handlers load the plane up. Then I watched as the plane backed away from the gate and then took off. I left to go to the bathroom and when I came back to get my stuff the gate attendant was there. I asked the lady when the next flight would be and she said not till tomorrow, and then she proceeded to scold ME for not showing up sooner. Apparently according to her she was at the gate the whole time waiting for anyone who might show up late. A lady who was sitting nearby and saw me waiting burst into laughter at this lady's blatant lie.

I explained to the gate attendant that I had been waiting and she said that I was lying because she never saw me. Then I showed her a picture I took of the gate and the plane to prove to her that she was the liar. She shut the hell up then and was like ohh umm next in line please. If I hadn't of been so tired I could have pursued that situation further but, I was too tired to argue with her and her shoddy lies. I called my friend Sharif up and ask if I could crash at his place he said yea that would be fine so I headed his way. So I took the MARTA to his place and then walked like another half mile to get there. By the time I got there I was soo tired I wasn't even tired anymore! I played some Gears of War and Guitar Hero then enamored some of his friends with stories of Japan. They of course made a big deal out of it as most people in America tend too for some reason. It's not that big of a deal living in a foreign country people!! I mean tons of foreigners come to America and live there and no one is impressed by them in fact most people probably hate them in America. If you live in America and are always complaining that your college professor has too thick of a Chinese accent for you to understand, then go to China and become a professor and see if you can do it before you talk crap. Or go to Pakistan or Jamaica and drive a taxi.

So I got in to Isesaki, where I live, at around midnight upon arriving I walked the wrong way for awhile because apparently I forgot everything abut the city I had been living in for most of the summer. I had to walk through the red light area to get to my apartment. And the whole time I am walking guys are trying to get me to go into their hostess bars. And you know how much I loveee hostess bars! But not only did I have no interest in their bars but I was walking around with a huge suitcase! Who honestly wants to go to a hostess bar with a huge suitcase with them? I can tell you who doesn't me! When I got in I ate something and messed around on my laptop for a bit, until the battery died. No problem though I can always just plug it up right? WRONG! I left my charger in Atlanta. Back in Japan for only a few hours and already things are going bad. A few days after getting back I went to Ohtawara for a festival which was a blast in fact that whole weekend was a ton of fun I never laughed so hard in my life. At Christal's house I laughed so hard that I almost crapped my pants and I have never laughed that hard in my life. Let me say I love other gaijin here in Japan <333!>

Needless to say Monday sucked hard I sat at my desk struggling to fight sleep while trying to look like I was working. I didn't make it though and ended up falling asleep at my desk. When I woke up I thought no one seemed to care, but I forgot this was Japan I am in so people don't tell you things directly they go in the most roundabout way. So on Tuesday my boss came to have a meeting with me he told me that the Vice principal saw me sleeping at my desk and that the principal thought I had changed. Sure I should have went to sleep earlier, but the medicine I am taking was going to make me sleepy that day anyway so either way I went I was going to be very sleepy. Then my boss went on to ask me, if I thought I was the "same" as the other ALTs and teachers?

I thought that was an odd question why would I be different from anyone else? So naturally I replied that of course I am the same why wouldn't I be!?! He informed me that after my accident I was no longer the same, and in a nice japanese fashion he pretty much told me that I am "handicapped", and that people will view me different because of my accident. And this is the best part when I came back I had to apologize to the school which wasn't that bad, but I also had to bring them gifts, I am the one sitting in the hospital all this time and yet I am giving them gifts, I actually don't mind doing it for the teachers but then I also had to do it for the Board of Education WTF!! I don't even really know anyone on the Board of Education and nor do I care to know them, since they screwed up my summer vacation and made me go to work 2 weeks early! I was expecting to come back to Japan and have some time to get used to Japanese culture again, it's still a little bit of culture shock at first. But instead I was forced to work, or rather should I say sit at my desk with nothing to do.

So back to the Vice principal. So not only did he complain about me sleeping for a little bit on Monday but also he complained that I was just sitting at my desk and I wasn't talking to him. Umm I was told before if I am not interacting with students I should be at my desk in case I am needed, that way it would be easier to find me. There were NO students that whole first week so I guess I was supposed to like either stand at my desk for 7+ hours or maybe remove my legs and let them roam the campus while my torso floated near my desk. And as far as never talking to him I never talked to him before. The Vice principal went on to say that I had changed since the accident, and that he didn't think I could do the job anymore. He was sort of right though I can't teach students if there are no students to teach. So the rest of that week was a nightmare! I don't even know how I made it through that with out actually becoming mentally handicapped. Thank goodness for iPhones!

So I believe it was Thursday, and like every previous day it was me and the Vice principal sitting in a hot ass faculty room doing nothing. I glanced over and low and behold that asshole was sitting at his desk SLEEPING! I sat there and watched him sleep for a good hour or so and just when I thought of sleeping myself he woke up and came to my desk to see if I was "working". I asked him if he was sleepy and at that point he realized I saw what he was doing and gave me a handful of せんべい which are basically Japanese crackers. Not only was that some sort of a bribe to keep my mouth shut about his hypocrisy but it was a down right shitty bribe. What kind of a bribe is a handful of crackers? I can't be like hey officer I know you found out I am selling a lot of unregistered guns, but here is a handful of crackers why don't you look the other way on this one eh? I guess people really must think I am handicapped because that is the only way that would have possibly come close to a decent bribe. So I continued to sit there and pretend to work on stuff for my students, which I couldn't actually do because I had been gone for 2 months and had no idea where they were in the textbooks. But apparently my new handicap allows me to mind read and know where the students are at.

So I am at the end of my second week of being back at work and the other teachers are there now and all they do is gossip about me and talk shit. If you are going to talk shit about someone ensure they don't know what language you are speaking that usually helps. But I sit there anyway and act like I don't know what is being said, because ignorance is bliss. Ohh and after the Vice principals hypocrisy I started leaving work early, nothing too big just like 10 or 15 minutes early although I could leave like 3 or 4 hours early since my day consists of me sitting there waiting for lunch, and after that is done everything else just crumbles away. But I am conservative about it, although I can easily just play the handicap card which I apparently have and run out of the building whenever I feel like leaving because I don't know any better.

So I have another meeting on friday which I am dreading like Yellow fever. I am expecting nothing good to be said to me at all which is absurd. I have talked to a few of the students and asked them about the other teacher that was my substitute and pretty much none of them did! The girls didn't like him because he wasn't good looking, and the boys didn't like him because he wasn't athletic at all. I run with the boys soccer and baseball teams and pretty much out run the hell out of them every time. I had suspected maybe the Vice principal liked the substitute more than me since he apparently knew more Japanese than me based on the kanji he was using in his notes on my desk. And if that was the case I could see why the Vice principal would complain and try to get rid of me. But what I also saw was that the substitute NEVER stayed after school to join the students in there after school clubs once. He left exactly on time everyday he was there. I am on probation right now, the students love me but the other teachers despise me. I would say I am not making an effort to win the teachers over but I am. But the truth of the matter is it shouldn't matter about the other teachers, I am not there to be there friend. I am there to be a fun foreigner for the students who will probably never get a chance to interact with someone from another country like this ever in there life. And as far as I am concerned I am doing a great job all the students were super excited to see me I gave out soo many high fives that it felt like I had been lifting weights all day.

So to win the other faculty members over I brought them ice cream today. It's fuckin hot in the faculty room; apparently know one will ever turn on the A/C that is in the room. So I waited to see if they would notice but nothing they still talked trash about me and how I was a horrible teacher, I mean I may not be teaching a class but the students are glad to have me there, and that is what should matter. But I fear that my time at this school is limited sadly, which will suck for the students more than me since I will just go to Osaka, which is where I want to live anyway. But the students probably won't get an ALT who is actively involved in there hobbies like I was. We will see what happens on Friday. . .

About to leave (again)

At the lake.

Riding a Jet-ski that doesn't work.

Unseen sights.

Grabbin' the nuts!

Let the feast begin!

Happy Birthday Caffe!

My photo is rarely taken by anyone so I have to do it myself (tear).

It's August 2nd which means I only have like 3 more days in America before I head back to Japan. It seems that every time I am about to leave either Japan or America I get really excited and bummed at the same time. There are certain things from both countries I want to take with me. I am going to miss the variety of food that is easily (and cheaply) available in America. Before I head back I got to make sure to eat as much Greek, Mexican (not so much now), and Southern food as I can. I will also miss American women to a certain extent. But most of all I will miss English! I will miss being able to talk with anyone at any time. I can speak some Japanese, but I can talk as easily about anything in Japanese as I can in English. Which may be for the better. I have a tendency to say some really random and bizarre things which seems to make some southerners I have met uncomfortable, but that humor may be suited for Japan.

The things I miss when I leave Japan to come to America are the peacefulness of Japan, Japanese food, and Ex pats! Before I talk about these things let me just say that it is ALWAYS harder to leave Japan than it is to leave America. My home country is America, but Japan has grown on me, and I am not entirely sure why. Or am I!?! A girl I met this time around in America (who also lived overseas) helped me to think rationally about my experience living overseas.

Her words: It's just easier living overseas it's like living in a dream almost. When ever you have problems in one place you can always just run away to the other place.

I think sometimes I do just that, I run away from things that bother and annoy me. I haven't just been doing it since I live in Japan, I consciously did it when I went to school in Atlanta quite a bit. On a side note I think I will thank her for those insightful words.

And now the things I miss about Japan when I have to leave. Peacefulness is of course number 1! There is NO place in America that feels as safe and peaceful as the majority of Japan (some of Tokyo is pretty sketchy though). Although there isn't as much readily available variety in the food of Japan as there is in America, the food that is there is really fresh and really good, so it kicks the pants off of American cuisine, a lot of the time. And the last thing I miss is the Ex Pats. Something about living in another country with some pretty high language barriers, just seems to push people together REALLY quickly. In america I will meet someone like 40 times and never remember there name or where we met. But in Japan I will meet someone twice, and I will remember there name, what prefecture they live in and a bunch of other random info. I have known people in Japan for no more than a year at the max, and I feel like I have known some people there my whole life, it's weird.

AIM Chats

man kenny I just found all these rediculous chats we've had about sleezy

Kenny

I remember when I was 18 just going to college

Kenny

I was like sleezy tell me what to do what should I expect

Kenny

now I realize years late that nigga didnt even know what he was talking about

Kenny

27, no car, no job, living with momma

time2rock15

not a good combination at all

Kenny

I am 22, with a bike, no job, and livin with momma

Note Kenny isn't my AIM s/n. Vorgovnax is.

Sleepy

My shadow among red lights

Billy Hardwick's Bowling alley

The Memphis bridge

My old bike hanging on my friends wall.

I am sleepy right now. I am noticing like something that I thought I could explain. Like there is this comedian named Raaaaaaaandy, and I watched one of his videos like last week, and I hated it, so I promptly turned it off. But then like most days this week all my friends are doing is showing me Randy clips. Just my luck! Luckily I have the ability to be apathetic for extremely long periods of time when the need arises. Actually even when the need doesn't arise. I think my time in Japan has made me a lot more laid back.  I used to hate bananas and raisins and other things, but now my mindset is "whatever". Life is too short to be picky about things. Plus I couldn't really control whether I ate any food I disliked because the food in Japan is completely random. I am almost the same way with people, but certain things people do will always get on my nerves. Like people who have to talk all the time, and if there is a moment of silence they think it's "awkward". Sometimes I like to not talk and just sit around with someone, there is nothing awkward about that. I wish I could explain this a bit better but I am too lazy at the moment. 

Also someone lied to me last weekend and it was a pitiful attempt at a lie. People if you are going to lie to someone do a better job and make sure that your lie doesn't fall apart like the next day.

I would write more but instead I am going to just leave it at this; and instead of words I will give you a bunch of crappy pictures (see above). 

Umm. . .

Akira and I. 

Ok to finish off this hospital story now is going to be hard since A.) I don't even remember what all I have talked about in the story so far and B.) My memory of the whole matter is cloudier than ever. So I will just end it with my Birthday.

So I was hoping to get out of the hospital on my birthday. It would have been a sweet birthday gift. But at the same time I wasn't really ready to get out. My mom assumed it was because I would be afraid of the real world or something. But the real reason is because I wanted one more chance to give my number to Yoko, and I wasn't sure when she would be my nurse again. But then right after we ate birthday cakes which Asumi brought, the doctor crushed the entire birthday evening, not that there was much to be crushed. But in the midst of our birthday celebration the doctor called Asumi away to tell her something important. That important news was that I will suffer from seizures for the next 2 years and that I could never be alone during that time. Which is impossible there is no way for me to be around someone 24/7. Plus I didn't believe I would have a seizure again. I mean would you listen to these doctors based on how unorganized and incompetent they have been?

I didn't get out on my birthday but I got out the next day and it felt pretty good to be out. I was definitely enjoying the Japanese summer weather. Shortly after that I came to America to get a lot of things cleared up regarding my health. I really wanted to stay in Japan, but it was necessary for me to come back to get some follow up medical checks done. My job is skeptical about keeping me on the payroll if I have seizures for the next 2 years. So I have to prove to them that I either won't have seizures or that I have medicine for my seizures.

Being back has been interesting. I always seem to discover something new about the people around me every time I come back here. This time I have found that a lot of my friends are really depressed or angry all the time. The contrast between my friends here and my friends in Japan is pretty startling. It could be because I have known my friends in America for soo many years that they let me into their lives a bit more. Or it could be that ex-patriots live a happy carefree life.

I have talked to a few friends from home quite often while I was in Japan, and I was well aware that those friends were kind of down in the dumps. But I was far removed from their problems, I would give advice when I could but I would generally talk to them when I was bored at work because most other times I was to busy enjoying myself.

I must also say that being around overly drunk people and not being drunk myself is quite interesting. I can look in awe at just how smashed people can become. And sometimes I can see a glimpse of my own past in some of these bumbling drunks. One of my favorite drunks so far has been Philip . I saw him I believe this Saturday or Friday perhaps, and he was so drunk he couldnt walk or talk. I found his hopeless situation to be intriguing to say the least. I wonder how he could get soo drunk, and what he must be going through. I wondered if the room was spinning for him, and if he had a headache. I remember a few times when my world was spinning from being overly drunk, those were the worst times, you feel so sick and you just want to die, but you fight through it, just to wake up and say "Never again the next morning", but then you do it all over again a few days later. 

At times I feel like I have infiltrated a secret society. I feel this way for multiple reasons, but the main reason is because I am persecuted by own on "society". Because I go out and hang around drunken people I am automatically guilty or suspicious based on association. If it's one thing I hate it's being persecuted, by non-believers. These persecutions come from overly suspicious people who don't believe I am capable of doing something I say I will. Like when I came back one night and my mom came in to smell me!?! I mean that is kind of dehumanizing and definitely some paranoia. I mean A) I am 23, I am quite capable of making my own decisions, I am not a 14 year old I don't need that kind of human interaction. B) If I say I am going to do something I will, I just don't say and do things overly stiff and serious (like some people would prefer). I am not in the army, so I will not give stiff direct answers. I like to flirt about and give easy going softer responses. 

I am just a bit to easy going and unconcerned with things. That might be my greatest strength and weakness. It is definitely my greatest strength when I am living by myself in another country but definitely a weakness when I am back in America. People in America (especially during these times) tend to let a lot of small problems consume them alive, until they are just hollow shells of anger and disappointment. The majority of people in Japan seem to not care, and those who are completed consumed by problems usually take their own lives. I am not condoning suicide here. If more people with problems, started turning to suicide then it would raise the problems and level of sadness of other people, possibly causing a chain reaction of suicides (if any of that makes sense). Ok just generally speaking 90% of the time when you see someone walking around in Japan they look either really unconcerned with anything, they are just going about their business. Here in America a lot of people look pissed off, either because they want to appear tough to outsiders, or because they generally are pissed. I am sure people in Japan are quite pissed off too at times, but they have mastered the facade of happiness. And when everyone around you looks happy and non-aggressive you can live a more care free life. I don't think there has ever been a time when I was walking around in Japan and been overly cautious wondering if some pissed off guy walking toward me might rob me or attack me because he feels trapped in his life. 

This has been a really random post, sorry.

I will leave you with this thought. If you are angry when you start drinking for the night, you might have the illusion of happiness for a short time, but when you wake up the anger will still be there. So drink for the happy moments, and drink twice as much. Because your drinking for me too ^_^!

Hospital days

Happier days! *Le sigh*

So I don't even really know where I left off last time. I know I was talking about my rash. So I will just skip right to the needles. I hate needles, especially when they are being forced under my skin. It might have been bad if the nurses didn't have to redo the needle insertion multiple times. There was one nurse in particular who had super hairy legs and a really annoying voice, she could NEVER get shit done right the first time EVER! She would stick an IV needle into my right arm like 6 times then be like ohh sorry I kept missing the vein, let me try the other arm then she would go to my left arm and fuck up like 8 more times until my arm was covered with band-aids to cover her fuck ups. I don't even have to say this, but I hated that nurse her voice was annoying her utter incompetence was annoying everything about her existence as a nurse got to me. It wasn't like my veins were playing hide & seek I can look at my arms and see a lot of my veins. 

But there was one nurse who made my time there okay. Named Yoko I thought she was quite attractive and we flirted quite a bit, everyday actually. Shit she even spanked me one night because I was walking around by myself. She told me "I was a bad boy", then took me to my room and spanked me. And she would wake me up by patting me on my ass each morning for breakfast. I thought she looked like something I didn't know what, then it hit me when my mom said she looks like a doll, she looks exactly like a doll. I was going to stay in the hospital an extra night just to give her my number so we could go out sometime. But I got such terrible news those last days that I just gave up all hope. I wish I did give Yoko my number though. I will regret this for a long time. But as my friend Chet said what if there was no "re" just "gret"?

But that wasn't the only action I got in the hospital! One day one of my doctor's came in put his hands under my shirt and started rubbing my nipples. He gave me a look that pretty much dared me to tell someone about what was happening. I was thinking maybe this was a medical test but he just rubbed on my nipples and left, didn't even say anything. At this point I started to seriously question the hospital.

And I lost all faith in the hospital when they lost my test results, and then confused my medical file with someone else! I don't know how they confuse my name which is foreign and written in Katakana with a Japanese person who's name is written in Kanji!?! 

First let's talk about the tests results they lost. The hospital did a check to see if I had Meningitis. It was supposed to be a one time test. It wasn't. . .

I am sure most of you don't know how doctor's test for Meningitis, so I will tell you. Doctor's do a Lumbar Puncture, which involves sticking a HUGE needle into your spine to withdraw spinal fluid. Is it painful? You bet your fucking ass it's painful.

So the doctor gave me "anesthesia" before the puncture. Just receiving the "anesthesia" was painful. And I say anesthesia in quotations because that shit didn't do anything. It made my back cold but I felt every bit of that needle going into my spine. And a lumbar puncture apparently isn't a one time puncture he kept pulling that needle out and jamming it back into my spine. It was so painful that Yoko had to hold me down and even offered to hold my hand during the procedure it was sweet of her, but I had to decline because I had to use my hands to hold my stomach. I felt like the needle was going to go through my spine and come out of my stomach. So after it was finally over the doctor said don't worry this test is only done one time. And I laid on my back relieved that the worst was over.

3 days passed and guess what they lost the result of my lumbar puncture! I had to do it again!! And Yoko wasn't there this time I had the nurse I despised holding me down, so it sucked even worse this time. After going through more agonizing pain I thought surely this time it was done. I mean after the 2nd Lumbar puncture my entire back was in excruciating pain, I just tried to lay as flat ass possible. I could feel the bandage on my back getting moist, when they took it off they discovered quite a bit of my spinal fluid had leaked out and was absorbed by the bandage and the bed, that explained why I was in soo much pain.

Eventually my back stopped hurting, and I was relieved that it was all done. About 5 days passed and the doctor came back, and guess what, they lost my test results AGAIN! At this point I really didn't even care if I had Meningitis. I told the doctor if I have Meningitis then I just have it I don't care anymore. But he told me how serious it is and so reluctantly I agreed for a 3rd Lumbar puncture. And again Yoko wasn't there, but the nurse that was there was really nice. She had given me a surprise enema one night. And there isn't too much more surprising than a completely unexpected enema. I liked the fact that she tried to be sneaky with the things she did. Like she would try to put an IV in my arm while I was asleep so I wouldn't feel it, and that was thoughtful. But you really can't just stick a needle into a sleeping person and expect them not to wake up, right!?! Technically no, but she got me one time. And it ended up sucking worse than maybe even the Lumbar puncture.

I like to go to the rest room when I wake up. I woke up and decided to run to the restroom before the nurse came around to put the IV in my arm. But the IV was already in my arm so when I hopped out of bed to go to the restroom the IV needle in my arm got twisted and bent up. My arm immediately started hurting but at the same time it was halfway numb. I started trying to pull the IV out myself but my other arm was kind of useless since my clavicle was broken and I had slept on my hand. So I just started yelling as loud as I could. My blood was shooting up the IV and starting to fill the IV bag. Eventually the ninja nurse (her actual name was Saya) came and pulled the IV out of my arm. She apologized for not waking me up when she put it in, and then started to wipe my other arm down to insert an IV into that arm. I was fed up I jumped out of the bed and started walking to the exit of the hospital I wanted to leave right then and there. They had to call both doctors and Yoko to calm me down and convince me to go back to my bed. I didn't listen to the doctors because they had proved their incompetence, but Yoko promised me she would make sure I got my favorite lunch everyday. The lunch wasn't quite enough I just kind of stood there I didn't move towards either the exit or the bed but just stood there thinking. Then Yoko said something really silly engrish that made me laugh and I went back to my bed. Later on Saya came to give me a new IV, I told her NO! Then the doctor came and tried to convince me that the medicine would help me, and I was thinking help me with what? Get another rash!?! WTF are you talking about? I told the doctor not today. He still tried to talk me into it. I told him if they stuck that IV in my arm I would leave that hospital late at night when there wouldn't be people around to stop me. And they knew I stay up really late because my rash wouldn't allow me to sleep. So for one whole day I had no IV!

Alas this story is long, and I am tired and in a bit of pain so yet again it will be continued.