Where is my mind?

This picture has more to do with this blog than you think!

(especially considering that you don't know what this blog is about)

My brain is swimming in thoughts right now! Which is actually a good thing because thinking gives me energy (for some odd reason). With all the insomnia I have thanks to Tinnitus, I can use energy! One person is consuming my thoughts though. Because I am just days away from spring something totally unsuspecting on her. While I won't quite get even with her, I can be entertained by imagining what the look on her lovely face will be like when she finds out what I have done. I expect there to be shock that I would pull something like this off, followed by awe at what will come to transpire. The hour draws near, and I in the back of my mind I think she might expect this (but I am not 100% sure she does). Just have to wait and see.

And while we are talking of such things. Today some Japanese lady gave me the ridiculous proposition of me teaching her private English lessons. It wouldn't have been ridiculous, except the classes would involve me PAYING her to come and teach her English on the weekends!! LOL WTF LADY! Not only did I not want to be around here when she was telling me this horrible idea, but I damn sure wouldn't want to pay her to waste MY weekends to teach HER English. I mean honestly what the hell is she thinking.

People are undoubtedly reading this and saying WTF is he talking about here. But I wouldn't bring something up with out fully explaining it (to the best of my ability). So you will just have to stick around to see how this Halloween extravaganza will play out.

To be continued. . .

Plan B!!!

I will regard today as the turning point in my life (at least in regards to my thoughts). I have never been one for any kind of long term plan or for that matter any plans. My life up until this point has just been a bunch of random occurrences. But as I get older and gain more knowledge I start to think differently. And after months of complete shit at least in thinking things look great.

I am so hopeful and excited I don't even know where to begin with this blog, no matter how far my thoughts progress I still find it hard to accurately convey everything I want to say in one cohesive medium. But here goes. . .

What is Plan B? Well as many of you probably don't know I have been working on a stand-up comedy routine for awhile now at least half a year by now. I usually just let life experiences shape my jokes as opposed to sitting there trying to force a joke to come to mind. So I have been thinking increasingly about just pursuing a career as a comedian. Definitely a risky venture, even if I am successful the potential for return is very uncertain. So I started searching for a medium between the apparent risks I would face. And now things that have been right under my nose this entire time have jumped out at me.

Why not just open a comedy club!?! By opening my own comedy place I could do comedy there, as well as provide a venue other local comedians could try out their routines. And best of all I would be my own boss! But where is the cheapest place to do that? I have always wanted to live in California (even though I have never been there). But as we all know California is quite expensive and opening a business there must be ridiculously expensive I would burn through my resources quicker than a space ship full of money on a collision course with the sun. So I put this idea on the back burner for awhile and continued to work on my comedy routine, and apply for "normal" jobs in corporate america (which I would probably despise). For months now I have continuously read about one city that has faced the worst of the current economic recession. I would read articles about 7 bed room houses in this city for sale at a measly $10,000 and still not selling (that is crazy!). I would read about the hundreds of thousands of unemployed sedentary people trapped in this city of hopelessness with nothing to look forward to than other than their next job interview.

What city is this? Most of you should already know that city is Detroit. For awhile I have simply thought man it would suck to live there that sounds horrible. But wait maybe I am thinking about Detroit all wrong! I started to think about things I like when I am feeling down, hopeless, or just plain fed up. I like to laugh to lighten the mood and I like a tasty brew! And reports are showing that despite of the heavy weight of depressed jobs that Detroit's people still want to reach out for some light hearted fun with halloween sales and parties remaining constant and even rising in some areas. So that started to tip the scale for me and then I read this article. And that was it I had found my place.

Not only could I get a house for super cheap but I could also open a small business with few barriers and low start up costs as most venues in Detroit are vacant eye sores. Right now I am calling this "Plan B", but to be honest this is the plan. As others have said the only thing that stood in there way was themselves. In my case I am not a barrier to my own entry. In this case my barrier would be someone else. Someone who with made even dreaming of something like this even a possibility. Someone who is very conservative and cautious in their approach to things. But in the end ultimately it will come down to me and my own determination. There are times to be cautious and there are times to through caution to the wind. And I think this time calls for the latter.

I would of course love the support of my family and anyone else who would like to help me pursue this venture. Anything helps not just money, if you have some knowledge that could help, such as legal knowledge, or anything else I am open to anything. Even if you want to stand in my way I am up for that too! I know that I risk losing a lot in this, but I could stand to gain autonomy in a way I could only dream of, this will prevent me from really pursuing an active comedy career of course but it will allow me to do comedy at some level as well as to shine the spotlight on other comedians. Just thinking about this all week has made me happy every day I wake up! It's as if nothing can get me down because I have hope and for the first time in my life I have an actual plan that is long term and matters to me. I am not doing this because someone else wants me to or because I think it will make someone else happy (which is what most of my decisions have been based on) I am doing this for me. Now it's just a matter of getting the pieces together.

Of and if your curious "Plan A" was just moving to Tokyo and working there until March and then coming back to the States with nothing and just wingin' it. I don't even want to call that a "Plan" anymore though, because by doing that I would just be wasting my time, I have had some interesting times here in Japan but I think it's time to start working on my long term goals and leave this short term shit behind. This is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done, and I couldn't be more excited!

^_^!!!

Something strange is happening here. . .

Roku

Right now I am trying to use the Google Maps application on my iPhone and it is acting strange. I am sitting in my apartment in Japan and when I hit the button for the GPS to determine my current location it is telling me that I am at my house in America. Not only that when I move around in this city the GPS indicator moves around on the map of Memphis! I guess home truly is where the heart is, because this is crazy. Not only have I never used the Google maps feature of my phone in America, I have never looked up my house on it ever, so for it to pinpoint my location in Japan as my home in America is very strange.

Well today was a great day then at the last second it kind of crumbled apart. I went to Takasaki to get a work permit for my new job in Tokyo. I thought the process would take a long time so I went to the immigration kind of early, and the process didn't take that long at all! After getting the permit I faxed it to my new employer then hit the town. Decided I would go to my favorite Turkish restaurant and get a Beef Kabob! It was closed when I got there so I thought about going to another place to eat but at the last second I decided to go to an art museum I had seen on my last visit to Takasaki. The featured artist was a Japanese man by the name of Roku. His works were beautiful they captured his childhood vividly! Even though he did paintings of his childhood as an adult the way in which he produced the paintings made it seem as though he had painted each piece when he was a child at the exact moment the scene in the piece was occurring. I took a few pictures at the exhibit (secretly), but the pieces I liked the most I couldn't photograph because guards were watching out for people like me! But here are some photos of his work I did manage do capture on film.

Roku's Showa (Boy's Day) a Japan's festival.

A childhood Hanami (reader's should know what Hanami is)

Listening to an Orchestra of giant Crows

After the exhibit I went back to the Turkish restaurant in the hopes that they would be open by that time it was 11am. Nothing really opens in Japan till around 10am. The only saps who have to be up before this time are people who work at convenience stores and teachers (sigh). I got back to the restaurant and now it was 11:40am, it was still closed! So I decided maybe I will do some shopping, and waste a bit more time. But in order to do that I needed a bit more money I only had about 1,000円 on me. So I looked on my map to find the nearest 7-11 to use the ATM (Google Maps worked properly then). The closet 7-11 was a bit of a distance, so I mapped out a route, and just as I was about to head out the owner of the Turkish restaurant came up and greeted me. He remembered me from my last visit, I sat down and ordered and chatted with him as he made my lunch. I had the Beef Kabob and a Turkish Yogurt drink which isn't what you expect a Yogurt based drink to be like. It wasn't sweet, so much as it was bitter and salty, but it complimented the Beef Kabob nicely.

Turk Sky

Beeg Kabob and the salty Yogurt drink!

After lunch I went to a few stores before coming to one where I debated on whether or not to buy some bright red plaid pants. After much deliberation I got a phone call from my new employer.

This is when things went down hill.

The lady on the phone told me the position and the apartment I would have had with the job were both filled. Surely they didn't JUST fill them that day because I had just sent my work permit to them at like 10am bright and early. So that means the position had to have been filled for awhile and they carried on in all of our previous phone conversations like the job and apartment was still available. This both infuriated me and made me laugh. I was angry because they could have simply told me awhile ago that the position was filled and I could have saved myself the time and effort. She tried to smooth things over by offering me a crappy position in some one horse town, but then my phone "lost reception" and the call dropped :P

So now I not only had to come to the decision on the pants I had to come to a decision on my future; since in about 2 weeks I will pretty much be homeless and jobless! I acted on what I could control and bought the pants and man are they comfortable, sure people back in the states might call them gay or ridiculous. But rest assured I will be ridiculously comfortable! So now I am pretty much back to the drawing board here applying for jobs in Tokyo trying to start over again, but I have a mellow attitude about all that is happening. Seeing Roku's works has brought me great joy! I wish everyone could see the exhibit. But you will just have to get a glimpse of it vicariously through me.

What gives!?!

Rhana and I

Yesterday I was at the gym preparing for some long drawn out conversation when I went up to the front desk to cancel my membership. I started forming the Japanese sentences in my head to convey my thoughts. I said the first sentence to the girl at the front desk telling her this would be my last month in Isesaki. She stopped me right there and said I can use English! I was shocked because when I came to the gym to sign up I asked if there was someone there who could go over the fine details with me in English and she was working that day but did she offer her help? Not at all. So now months later I find out that she speaks English pretty well. So I told her I was leaving and was going to cancel my membership. She asked why I explained all mishaps that I had happen to me while living here. And she said that she was sad.

I assumed she was sad that I had soo much misfortune but I was only partially right. It seems this whole time she has been watching/semi-stalking me at the gym. She said she has liked me since I first joined but was too shy to say anything. As touching as that is it came a bit too late. It's not like she was bad looking either in fact she was pretty cute. But nothing is going to derail me from my course! And a nice little reminder of why I need to get the hell out of here has happened today.

As I was sitting at work waiting to do the speech contest after school, I decided to check on facebook to see what the other ALTs were up to. Pretty much every ALT has the day off tomorrow because of the typhoon that is going to ravage Japan tomorrow. But not me! That's right I will be up bright and early braving 153km winds an hour winds to get to work just to sit at my desk. The students at least get to come a bit later than usual. But I actually have to be there earlier than usual, for a meeting about the typhoon! If that isn't the biggest bag of shit ever, I don't know what is. Plain and simple the Isesaki Board of Education is full of idiots as far as I am concerned. First they took 2 weeks from my summer vacation when I came back; time which I thought I could use to recover from my accident, and now this! I love my school to death (not literally mind you), but the BOE can be blown away in this typhoon for all I care. I can't wait to be done dealing with them. The end is near. Let's just hope I don't get seriously injured trying to travel through a typhoon to get work. Even though I live quite close to the school anything could happen, maybe a fence will blow into me or I will just get sick from being in the rain and having to sit around all day in wet clothes.

Here's to you Isesaki, you never give up on trying to destroy me!

Third time isn't the charm.

Some of the (many) spots of blood. . .

I thought this was a bad dream but the blood reminds me it isn't

There are more but you get the idea.

This was a quiet weekend in my apartment. I was going to go out on a date with a Japanese cougar but then I decided ehh I want some me time. So instead I watched some movies and ate some foods I like. Saturday rolled around and I thought he I can call Rhana my Brazilian friend, maybe I can invite her over and we can watch some movies together! But then at the last minute I was like wait this place is a mess, and I don't feel like cleaning it up. So again I watched some movies by myself. Sunday rolled around, and I was biding my time before I had to go and teach one of my Brazilian students. As I am sitting in my apartment watching Family Guy, one of my Brazilian friends burst into my apartment covered in blood and wielding a knife. He ran up to me and slapped the Melon Pan I was eating out of my hand!

I have never mentioned Melon Pan before but I am addicted to it. When I leave Japan that will be the one thing I miss the most! So with that said when I am eating Melon Pan I am not expecting some bloody guy to run up and frantically slap it out of my hand, but that is precisely what happened. So after I got over the initial shock of having my tasty treat rendered useless, then I slipped into the shock of seeing my friend covered in blood and holding a knife. My first thoughts were hmm he might have just killed someone, and he might try to kill me too. So how did I react then?

The first thing I said was "Hey man why did you knock my Melon Pan on the floor and get blood all over it? I was eating that and now it's gone. That Melon Pan was innocent, it didn't do anything wrong." Keep in mind here that I don't often get to enjoy Melon Pan since I try and eat healthy and maintain my weight. So not only was this one of those rare times but I had splurged on the jumbo Melon Pan and that wasn't cheap.

He looked back at me and said "F&*k that Melon Pan something serious is happening here man. He said we have to go now!" I probably shouldn't have went with a man covered with blood holding a knife, but what he said next made all the common sense I had suddenly disappear. "I have just been stabbed (that explains the blood). And the people who stabbed me followed me here!"

WTFFF why the hell did he lead potential murders to my apartment! Not wanting to just sit in my apartment while some crazed maniacs closed in on us I fled with him. The way I saw it I could either say "No" and sit there by myself and possibly be attacked alone or go with him and be attacked with someone else. Considering the fact that if I got attacked with someone else that would give the assailants a distraction and me a chance to escape. Because the way I see it a criminal will commit violent acts against who ever they can apprehend. So as long as I can out run them (which I am sure I could) then they would stop chasing me and attack him. However if it's just me and no one else to pursue they would be a lot more relentless in pursuit of me.

So I spent the next hours riding around in a car with my friend as he explained frantically what happened. Then came the point where I realized I had made the wrong decision. I asked him where we were headed? He told me Bombar which is a Brazilian bar/club. So I was like wait a minute we are running from a group of Brazilian gangster and we are going to a Brazilian bar? That doesn't seem smart. So naturally I asked if they were there. And he said yes they probably were! Whoa I thought we were supposed to be fleeing these guys not rushing to engage them. And that is when he was like together we can get them back there is another knife in the back seat we can take them together.

WHOAAAAAAAAAA! I never agreed to get into a knife fight. So know I was thinking of opening the car door and just jumping out and hoping I didn't break too many bones. Breaking a few bones is a lot better than being stabbed, I don't want my squishy organs to be punctured with some random dirty knife, that's how swine flu is spread people! So know I was thinking well Kenny ole boy this is going to be it, the last hooray. You are going to be stabbed trying to flee from Bombar. So I sent my sister a message on facebook expressing my intentions to leave everything to her in the event of my death. Since I don't have a will but I definitely seem to need one.

We got to Bombar and there were 2 Brazilians standing outside holding batons. We pulled up near them and I got ready to bolt as soon as the car stopped. I fumbled with the lock though and didn't quite make it out so gracefully as I had imagined it. But it was okay because they were there to help them. I still ran anyway, to a Brazilian owned Barber shop where some other Brazilians I know work. I stayed there for awhile. Then I realized that my phone was in the car. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

So I killed time until I thought okay surely whoever is going to be killed has been killed by now so I made my way back to Bombar and my friend and his car was gone, along with my phone. I had someone call him and tell him to come back to Bombar. He came back and I got my phone and then ran back to my place, I didn't want anything else to do with that whole situation.

My step-sister boiled it down quite nicely only I could have soo many insane things happen to me in a small town where chickens seem to outnumber people! When I move into the heart of Tokyo she asked me what would happen to me then? And with how bizarre things have been in my current city I wouldn't think it to be too far fetched for me to be assaulted by mutants, or mauled by a bear in an elevator, maybe I will be abducted by aliens. Seems the new prime minister and his wife have been abducted and taken to Venus so what's to say I won't be abducted as well!